As I am getting closer to celebrating my 1 year anniversary as an Entrepreneur of my Upcycling business, which I launched last year on April 20th. I have just been seeing some old photos of the posts and reels I have shared on Instagram.
If you don’t know what I do, I collect fabric leftovers during the production process and make products from them. If you would like to buy, check my Instagram page @upcyclewither. So when I first started, I wanted this brand to be a Women’s Apparel brand, if you would have read this post called “Learnings and Musings of 2021” you would know the story.
Anyway, in short, I launched the brand, it was in the mid of the raging pandemic, but I still did get orders from friends and in a month’s time by end of May or so, I had to let go of the tailor I was working with. I personally do not have any degree in fashion or sewing, at that time I had just learnt some basics from that tailor.
So I cancelled all of these orders or rather said I will keep it on hold until I find another tailor, and that did not happen either. I slowly started to learn online and started stitching myself and introducing accessories like Coasters, Handbags and so on.
What I wanted to talk about in particular in this episode is “Failures” and how we perceive them. Failures are Feedback, there is nothing wrong or right about it, or rather there are a lot of right things that come with it. Then why are we so afraid of them, in my perspective, we are not afraid of failures, rather we are afraid of how people will look at us if we fail at something.
In that fear, very often we may not even want to take that step and even if we do if there is the feedback we do not know how to process it in a healthy way.
I have just been trying to recollect how I held myself when I realised I cannot make it as an apparel brand and then switched over to accessories.
I had done a pretty good mindset work by then, on not wanting to give any thought to how others are going to judge me because I did not make it as an Apparel brand. I was of course very upset about how to go about this but at the same time, I also firmly believed that everything happens for a reason and at this moment I will concentrate on what can be done and what can I learn from this situation.
I was also joking on Instagram 2 days ago, coz I love clothes and I am glad that the apparel line did not work out coz I was afraid that I will keep it all to myself which I did with a few of them. hahaha
Last week I watched the documentary Return to Space the story of Elon Musk how he started Space X and about all their rocket launches and failures and success stories. The first 3 launches of SpaceX failed and that cost them 100 million dollars that’s how much Elon Musk had at that time to invest, they did not stop after that. He and his team worked together again and built another rocket which was a success. Rest is history, you all know how Successful he is now with SpaceX.
This is the mindset most successful people operate from, I always wondered why the failures aren’t spoken much of, that’s coz they don’t stick on it too much. Okay, it’s done, it’s over, we have learnt something from it and how can I implement that on the next one.
Just this one mindset is enough, for us to handle anything in life-personal or professional. And you know, when your mindset is so strong you will energetically repel all those people you are worried about who are going to shame you or even if they do, you will not bother about it anymore.
Now that you are aware, failure is an illusion, here is a sign for you to start whatever you have been putting on hold.
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After I realised most of my relationships and friendships were so rooted in me Pleasing them, I was like, God, I need to be awarded as the Best People Pleaser! hahaha
So, People Pleasing is a Trauma response and in Psychological terms, it is called Fawning. One of the ways how our body keeps us safe in the survival state.
For me People Pleasing was, to give gifts. Always, anybody, I meet, even for a few hours or just know them for a while, I would buy them real pricey gifts you know. I just could not tolerate anybody not liking me, I had to please them somehow. I would always be available for everyone, carry everybody’s emotional weight, feel bad if someone don’t share with me and shares it with someone else, I just could not say NO, I clearly could not draw boundaries too.
Especially for people who have a Mother wound, as in your Mother was not available for you emotionally or you lost your mother at a younger age. You may develop this pattern of pleasing people as you have developed this fear of losing people.
So last year, when all of this came into my consciousness, I told myself, Okay now I am going to start saying No to people-whoever it is friends or family, does not matter! As I was mostly at home, and barely had any communication at all with the outside world I could not test it, all I could do is with family-which was very difficult in the beginning, eventually, I did start telling No to family members as well specifically my brother who would always borrow money from me.
There was one funny incident that happened though, the first week of hiring the coach, as I was talking to her I was sharing my family story and I was feeling so bad that I was dumping on her and I was like “I am sorry to share this, I know its all too much” hahaha She was a sweet girl and she immediately told me its not too much.
And it took me a week or two, oh boy! Its again coming from a place of pleasing someone, can you believe I hired a coach asking for help and feeling bad asking for help hahahahah
Another story was, this new neighbour girl who bought scrunchies from me did not pay me for a while. I was so hesitant to ask her, after a long wait I messaged her and told her to pay me. I actually live in a small town and don’t really have any friends here, so this girl seemed like I can have a friend and I realised later that I had this fear I would lose her if at all I ask for my money. Around this time, I read this quote “Real connections will never leave you, whatever the circumstances are.”
After a few months, the same girl and his family were going out of town and her mother had asked me if I can take care of their cat. I said cool, I can, I have taken care of that cat before and I did not have any issue genuinely and after a few days, I am still sleeping around 7 am or so and she calls. I did not answer as I felt a little violated by the boundary and hear someone knocking on my door, it was his brother with the cat. I felt uncomfortable, took the cat and started my day, what happened after really put me off!
At this time, I was working on a quilting project {you can buy my products on Instagram @upcyclewither} and I was quite packed that week. So these people absolutely did not think of any of my work and she kept sending parcels over parcels of cat food and other stuff. I was getting agitated as I had work and I had to pick up so many parcels. I did not want to ruin my mood and continued with my work as I didn’t want to transfer that energy into it. After my work was done, I was just relaxing and another parcel comes by and this time, this girl did not even inform me that this parcel was coming through.
I was like that’s it, I need to talk and I immediately messaged her saying this was not right whatever you did, you need to understand what boundaries are, just because I am home, does not mean I am free and blah blah blah
I was also very happy deep inside that I have finally learnt a lesson on how to draw boundaries, she was like okay I am coming to pick the cat and she came, then I go like, see it is not about me, it is about the cat, I didn’t like tying her as I was working!
After she left, I was like, why the hell did I say that! It was about the cat, yes, but it was about me also! Eeekkkkkk.
So, my dear friends, I am sharing this to tell you that, bringing awareness is the first step, an action has to be taken, and it won’t happen overnight. Consistent action towards drawing boundaries, consistently practising to tell yourself that it is okay to draw boundaries.
It actually feels extremely selfish, especially when you have people pleased all your life. The fear comes in that you might lose people and at the same time you actually don’t have to feel bad if you do fail in drawing boundaries.
So how to bring to conscious awareness, as in to know whether you are People Pleasing or if you are genuinely helping:
It is always One-sided. For Ex: you are always the one making plans, you are always the one checking on everyone. It is almost never or usually very minimal from the other side.
(Most of my past friends were like this) hahaha
2. You feel energetically drained after trying to help or fix someone, which means you are genuinely not doing it.
3. Somewhere deep in the heart, you feel, will these people really be there for me when I need them.
4. People usually call you strong because you are always listening to everyone and usually always available.
5. You almost never say NO, whatever situation you are in: emotionally, physically or even materialistically. You still want to step ahead and help them.
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So, these are some of the things that you can consciously notice, and then you can take the decision of whether to have these people around you or not.
And when you do start setting boundaries, be nice to yourself, you will overthink if you did anything wrong, you will feel selfish, you will feel weird, your body will act weird, remember you are shedding a skin that you are holding on to for a long time now.
If you do fail drawing boundaries, don’t feel bad, it’s okay, try again, and again and again.
Remember you are not alone in this, and you won’t be left alone. I am actually telling this to myself as I tell it to you. There are 8 billion people in the world and I am also here for you my loves.
Just like everybody else on this planet, all I wanted in my life is to be happy. Like who doesn’t? Hahaha! We all want to, yet we still are not, from inside. At least the ones I have attracted in my life before hahaha. I had a pretty decent childhood, village travels and a normal Indian middle-class life in the city with great friends by my house, both the schools I studied was good giving preference to extra activities which was my favourite part-dancing, singing, sports, etc etc etc.
As I stepped into adulthood is when everything seemed so strict around me, pressure to score good marks, pressure to find a good college, pressure to find a good job, pressure to find a good husband. Oh my, I can go on.
Again, not to complain, all my corporate jobs was decent enough unlike others, I had good fun in those 6 years, made good friends at that time. In fact my last job in Cisco was good, I would always say that I would get a job in Cisco during my retiring days.
But, that Joy I was seeking that I had as a kid, no, it was not there at all.
Fast forward to many years=to 2021 when my journey towards being a successful entrepreneur and being rich began hahaha little did I know, on this journey I would find that Joy back again.
To be sure, I checked on the internet or the Google god hahaha on what’s the difference between happiness and Joy, it said Happiness is something that comes out from an external source like a show or a movie or friends or family or book, you fill-up the blank to whatever makes you happy.
Joy is something that you feel, even when you don’t have all this. You are at the present, you are living the now and you are still joyful.
I keep telling this all the time, I have spoken about this so many times on my YouTube and Instagram, if you follow me here, I am sorry if you are sick of it! So September 1st is my birthday and this month, every morning when I woke up I had a huge smile and in the night when I slept too and of course all through the day as well.
I was dancing all the time, I was dancing on the terrace not worrying about who is watching me, I was grinning as much as my chin and jaws hurt. Mind you, at this time, I barely had made any progress or I should I chose not to have any hahaha, no big social media following, So, there was absolutely no external factor at all that was making me happy. It was all that baby kind of smile for no reason, absolute pure joy that I barely can explain words.
Recently when I was checking my Journal, I saw quite a few things that were written and that’s when I realised why I was feeling so content and full that way. August was exactly the opposite, I will need another full episode to share what happened this month, but anyway in the last week of August every morning, I started to write about what was happening to my mind and body. The thoughts, the feelings, the pain all of it. Usually, whenever I write anything, it’s in the form of a letter. Say, for example, if I need to remind myself and tell myself or write about my accomplishments, I start with Dear Sneha.
The same way, If I have something to ask or tell the Universe, I say Dear Universe, so in of those letters that I have written, I found this piece where I have asked sorry for all that I have done in my past and also for ignoring the signs that were sent to me-during some of the tragic moments of my life.
If you are listening to this and wondering what is she talking about, some woohoo story, I won’t judge you, because if I would have read something like this 3 years ago, I would have said the same.
You see, there is this saying called in Kannada, Kannada is the language we speak in South India for those who don’t know. “Sankata bandaga venkataramana” means, whenever you are in trouble is when you think of God.
Well, this is what is told to us too, cry, plead and beg god when you are in pain. And then God will be like, oh I never said that! I don’t want you to cry, plead and Beg, all I want you to do is communicate to me in the language I know and that is Love. Hahhaa! Okay, this is a topic for another day.
So, there were many many many traumatic incidents in my life in the past, and all thanks to my memory, I remember every bit of it. Also, I remember just before it happened, there was also a sign all the time for me not to go ahead with it. But I still did, of course, I am also not blaming myself, my nervous system was used to being in a traumatic state and all that I attracted was that.
So point being, when I was writing those letters I kind of realised that I need to apologise to the Universe for ignoring the signs and also surrender all of that paint that I went through. Also, mind you, I can’t remember intentionally writing this, those words possibly just felt out as it had to be cleared out.
That lightness I felt, that charm on my face, those dance moves were all due to the results of letting go of whatever I was holding on to. As kids, we are exactly like this, because we are not born with any sufferings or pain or fear, this is why kids are genuinely happy.
And that my friends, is how I got my Joy back.
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Surrender you all, Surrender! Let the Ego go go and open your soul and heart to heal.
As you can see in the title it is all about the learnings I had in 2021, I know we are 1.5 months ahead in 2022 but somehow this topic kept coming back in my head to share my learnings, so here you go the story of my favourite year of my life-The 2021.
Before I start the actual story, I just want to talk about someone who is my online Mentor-Bob Proctor whose videos got me hooked like a fevicoal last year around the same time. He passed from his physical body to eternal spirit last week and I was a little upset. Anyway, I do believe that nobody dies, they are always there for us in another form.
So something interesting happened, the day when I came to know he passed, that night I could not sleep well. I usually don’t do this but every time this has happened, it guides me to open Instagram, I did that day and I saw a new person liking my recent Post. When I went to her profile, it said she is New york’s best selling author and guess what she was also one of the closest friends of Bob Proctor! I was like, wow! There was this post of her’s with photos of Bob and she talking about their friendship and I dwelled up! My goodness, this cannot be a coincidence! Whatever I am now, I owe a lot to him and I know he will always be there for me!
So starting with whatever he imparted on me that had a huge effect starting from January 2021, he always said you are an average of 5 people you hang out with! I was like okay, now that’s something I need to seriously look into; because boy oh boy the friendships I had was nowhere closer to the new Sneha that I was trying to become. So, Let’s dive in!
Its okay to put yourself first by Letting go of Old Friendships that does not serve you!
You see when you decide your goals and attain those goals, this is how I need to be and this is how everything around me has to be; the situations and circumstances start to change by themselves. It started with January when there was this circumstance that came up and I had to let go of these girls who were friends with me for more than a decade. Was it painful? Yes, was it required? Also yes! Whatever they did to me in that circumstance was not something that I could accept and I had to take a step back and tell them that I don’t want to be part of this kind of friendship anymore! After this, between Feb to April again certain situations came up where I again let go of another set of long term friends. I don’t know if it is sounding selfish because that’s how it feels as these were long terms friends and they have been there during my worst times but this time the way they were behaving with me was something that I could not tolerate. Even now, if you ask me how I had the courage to do that, I still do not know. Like I said, I guess when you are so firm on what is serving you and what is not, you will take certain decisions that you have never taken in your life to uplevel for the next step. So, I kind of lost about 97% of my friends, I was known to have friends all across the city and none of it mattered to me at that time. I was even fine to have 0 friends, and all that mattered to me was me and my goals and putting myself as a priority first, Finally
2. Opinions of Others that didn’t matter!
It was probably a week to 10 days before I was launching my upcycle business, a friend of mine, again who I knew for more than a decade came home with her partner. The day before she came home, she called me and asked if I would hang out with them that weekend and I immediately said no, I also made a statement that I am not coming out anywhere for the next year. I was laughing at this as I typed along because this is not me who would say something like that! A People pleaser Sneha who does not say no to people finally started doing so.
So both of them came home to pick up something from me and I had just gotten the initial products that were ready for the launch, I was all excited and showing it to them and this dude-her partner goes like-whats a big deal in this, it’s not like an idea that I have never got, oh it is just a piece of Banyan cloth-Banyan cloth for those who don’t know is a cheap elastic fabric! I just smiled at him and said, this much Ego is not good for your health. I am an Empath and I get super sensitive with what others say to me. So again, my goal was much stronger to repel all these opinions that others put out. Anyway, the good news is, that was another friend that was meant to let go and that is why he behaved that way. Universe by my side giggling!
Another one was with this really good friend of mine, she is still a good friend but yes again, everybody has their own limiting beliefs and that’s how their opinions come out. So, I got this idea of creating clothes with stories of people which in my head, was fantastic and brilliant and when I shared it with her, I did not receive a positive response.
I was also talking about this on my youtube video with respect to the topic of Self Love/Self-compassion, this is where it starts when we prioritise that our opinion matters the most and not others.
3. Circumstances that were not in my control
Okay, for those all of you who blame circumstances and situations, this is a must-read. I also want to say, that if you are one of them who blame, there is nothing wrong with it as I was that person too. Since most of society operates that way, we all believe that’s the way to go. So getting into the details now, I launched my brand on April 20th 2021, That date was important, I cannot say what it is but my mind was somehow stuck to that date. This was also the time when Covid was rampaging all around-the second wave. Even though I was having second thoughts if I should go with it, the voice that was louder in me was to go ahead. Also, this good friend of mine, mirrored the same as me that every time there is going to be something.
So, I got all my fabric waste from these factories in a city called Tirupur, and I was so practical and so strategically business-minded, I wanted to have a launch video. I don’t know where I got that idea from, but I wanted to so badly and I wanted it to be a professional video. At that time, this friend of mine whose pictures I saw and liked, I asked her who clicked and she said it was her husband and he is passionate and I could see the passion in the work. I was also in this place where I was still considering this business as a side business and I was not completely serious to be very honest. But, my vision since day 1 was whomever I work with I will pay them well coz I know the pain of not being paid as an artist. So anyway, long story short, I want to keep this one short because this can be an episode in itself, so I met this couple, discussed everything and he suggested we will visit the factory and shoot a video. All that happened, we came back, he sent me the video, this was just about a few days before the launch. I liked the video and in the intro, I wanted a very minor change in the music that was used, so I called him and I explained to him and he immediately goes like, very rudely “I cant compose the music”. I handled it well but I almost got into the tone of crying and immediately sensed okay, I don’t feel like using these videos. I don’t want to start my business with this kind of energy.
I sat on my desk, I cried and I had just written a poem and was staring at it, immediately this guy whom I had met on my travels who had worked on Bollywood was an editor came to my mind and I called him, and he said he can help me out.
So to this other photographer, I sent him the payment and he also kind of sent me another rude text that he will delete all the videos from his drive soon and asked me to download them. The next few days, I was so anxious and was trying to download these files and it was not working with the connection I had I finally decided I don’t feel like using these videos so just texted him to remove it all!
By then, I had this friend who had shown interest in doing photography for me and I asked her if she can take a few clippings as this is not working out. She said yes. That poem I had just written when this guy behaved rudely that day, became the background score and the idea for my launch video and it turned out to be way better than the other one, so intimate and so personal.
There were 2 things I learnt from this: 1. It was my mistake too for not being too serious about my work and randomly making decisions and at the same time accepting myself and not beating myself upon it. 2. To acknowledge that situation also came up because something better is coming up-which eventually did.
And because of this circumstance, another friend went out of the zone too, probably I should have named this as learnings from friends hahaha ex-friends!
After this, I was all preparing well for the launch and something happened again! I was like, Universe, are you freaking kidding me! This is what happened, Just one day before the launch, a closed family member tested positive. This was the time when I would see news of beds not being available in Blore and so much chaos everywhere, I was like phew! And guess what, in just a few hours this family member got a bed and we were told that there was nothing to worry about as it was a moderate case.
That previous night, I ofcourse didn’t sleep and was continuously praying in the hopes of things getting better. It did! So, I went ahead with my launch, it was well-received, ofcourse I was not deeply celebrating, it was also probably coz I was already in that feeling all through the process and at the same time the covid situation too.
I got a few orders and the next week, a strict order of lockdown was announced. I again, took that positively as I had more time to indulge in learning Instagram and marketing and how to promote the products, I was also learning sewing at that time.
The next 2 weeks, was mostly my work on Instagram, 2 of my cousins tested positive, took care of this family member, calls to hospitals and checked on everyone around. My goodness, I probably had like 20 hands and 20 heads with 2 Kalis in my body at that time.
The good things that came out of this Covid situation were, something magically happened with respect to family dynamics. I can’t share the full details as it is too personal, but it all shifted everything in a beautifully positive way; this is also the best manifestation that happened to me last year! Mind you, I had not even asked for it!
4. Broken Promises by People that turned into Biggest Discoveries
At the end of 2020, there was this Sales guy who found my profile on Naukri & called me for a freelance job. At that time, all I wanted was to divert my mind and took it up. I would slog all day and as the days went by, the kind of job role this was I was not feeling connected to as it was to do a lot with Artificial Intelligence as I was a super practical environmentalist person at that time if you would have read the earlier blog post, you know.
After a month when the time came to pay, he was behaving weird and not up for the conversation. Exactly a year ago on 13th February, I had this heated conversation with this guy about his lies and manipulative stories he made about the payment. Speak of the timing eh? I for sure did not know I would be sharing this story as a learning, a year later.
I remember the date so well because I journaled about it, as that night is when the upcycled business idea came in coz I couldn’t sleep as I was so angry at him! So, this was the first person who broke the promise and that led to changing my whole life!!!
I immediately called a tailor near my house who I had once discussed this idea about, at that time she said she cant but this time she said she will. But you see, Universe wants to throw some more situations to make me stronger hahaha! There was something that happened at home, where it came to a place where I may have to move out. I was discussing this business idea with a friend at that time and also the situation at home, and just on one call, we came up with a business idea together to start a sustainable gifting solution.
Everything was happening fast, we would always have phone calls, I would wake up early to plan out, but somewhere deep deep inside there was this voice that was saying this will not work out. Hahaha! Anyway, after 2 weeks or so, I kind of realised I was not syncing well with this girl and calmly told her I will back out from this as I am not feeling comfortable. She didn’t take it well and she started on her own with the same idea as mine.
Right after that things got better at home, and then I started my business plan again.
Aaannnnd you may not believe who may be this other person who broke the promise.
Like I said earlier, the business was launched in April, covid situation, I was learning sewing and planning strategies for business, handle Instagram. It was getting a little too hectic and I told my tailor that I will take a break from learning and you continue with the sewing of orders, right after that, she stopped taking things seriously. As I was not going there every day, she would screw up whatever design I share, she would just randomly tell me that she can’t take orders and also started to increase the price from whatever we agreed on before. After weeks of thinking and overthinking, with no plans on what is going to happen next, messaging everyone who ordered with me telling me to cancel them, I took the decision to let her go-the only soul person of my business!
So in all of these situations-I am not blaming any of them, it is not about they are right or wrong, this is for me to understand what was in me, that attracted situations like this. In the sales guy’s case, I did not make clear boundaries with respect to payment and I did not even ask for any written document of proof that I was working for him.
In my friend’s case, I was not clearly communicating even though I felt that it might not work out in the beginning days.
In my tailor’s case, I was highly superficial myself at my work, and so was she. As the business was new and with broken records of handling finances in the past. Even though I was paying her fairly, whatever she asked, I was still not sure what fair pricing was as I was still operating a lot from a lack of mindset.
All 3 people, lead me to the biggest discoveries of my life. Starting the business, revealing my hidden strengths, learning to be independent and a lot lot lot more.
This is how I evolved you all, sorry-evolving. Always accepting the people and circumstances that happened for me, that helped me on my growth and not sit and suffer that God is treating me bad, an FYI-God will never do such things! hahahah
5. Taking Calculative Risks and Burning my Ego
Everybody who knows me personally knows that I always take risks. From quitting my corporate job and venturing into travelling, I did that all to escape from another reality and was too naive. I was not at all practical, especially when it came to Money. In my early days of working, I have not managed Credit cards very well so after I cleared those bills, I destroyed them and did not want to get them anymore.
Since I wanted to expand myself and invest in a coach last year, hiring a private coach is always on higher terms. My mindset was pretty strong by then and this time I knew I will be careful. As soon as I made that decision, I got a call from the bank to avail of this credit card, my credit score has always been good so I got a great deal and that’s the first biggest risk I took. I purchased a new sewing machine, I took a DIY coaching course by Jen Sincero.
I was still not feeling enough, I mean my soul craved for more growth. Now, I wanted to hire a private coach. To pay this coach, I had to ask for money from someone who I was most uncomfortable with; that’s where again the test was. I had to burn my Ego and ask for help! I did, I hired a coach and I became a coach.
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Once you set your mind to something, don’t worry about how things will fall in place. Just be ready to accept whatever comes in if I would have told Oh! I am trying to manifest money through my sales, why am I getting credit card calls and why has this person suddenly offered me money! Then the Universe will be like, well, she asked for help and now she is saying no!
Remember that old story, of a man drowning in floods, he asked God to save him by ignoring the help that came through car, boat and a helicopter and then he died and went up and asked God why didn’t he help me and god was like I did send you car, boat and a helicopter.
This story was reminded to me again, from this book that my coach referred to me called The law of divine compensation, a great read if you would like to.
For now, If you came this far, let me know if you learned anything at all from my lessons, as always I am active on Instagram. You can tag me or message me. If you would like to buy my products, click here, currently there is a 40 % discount going on.
I started by talking about Bob Proctor, I will end with the same in one of his videos, he had mentioned, “One year from now, you will need a telescope to check your progress”.
For those of you who have been following my blog (iamblackwildflower) since its Inception, let me address the Name change first – A few months ago, like I always say. A major shift happened in me, which you must know if you have been following me on Instagram. One of the biggest changes was when I started sharing about my growth on my personal page, I was sharing it from the view that my Journey and growth has to help someone, somehow. And one day, this girl messaged me saying, she feels motivated and healed whenever she sees my posts. I still remember that day, when I got so emotional, that it is indeed helping someone.
Last week, I made a formal announcement on Instagram that I am a Coach and how it happened. Again, I don’t really know how it happened, so every time I write captions on my personal page It was flowing out very naturally and I was not really feeling like I have put effort into this. At the end of the caption, I started to mention “Yours Consciously” Sneha like how you put out in letters you know, like Yours faithfully etc.
One day, I was just randomly seeing if I can update my Instagram handle from iamblackwildflower to yours.consciously and it automatically got updated.
So, it’s just for the sanity of everyone and myself that we are all on the same page on all accounts, I decided to change the name of the Website and the Podcast too.
Now, getting into the real story.
As most of my childhood was spent in my village, I developed a close relationship with Nature, with Mother Earth. Apart from the Galaxies, Stars and Universe that excited me as a kid in school, topics like Pollution, different types of them, how are they caused, Ozone layer; all of it got out the Environmentalist in me as a kid.
I still remember, when we bought the refrigerator for the first time, telling my mother that these machines release harmful chemicals that form holes in the ozone layer. I always preached to throw garbage in the dustbin, I would never ever throw anything out of the bus window while travelling and would quite often advise people also not to do the same.
Plastic was not much of a big issue back then, but littering always was. I would always throw the garbage in the designated place and keep the surroundings clean and neat in the locality where we grew up.
Fast forward to many years, to look back from my travelling days as a travel blogger since 2016, my thoughts and decisions to travel sustainably was always keeping Mother Earth at first. The past year, whoever I came in contact with who are spiritually aligned, all of them always said how they all got super close to Mother Nature after their awakening. Then, I kept wondering, if I was always spiritual since I was a kid.
So this is the thing, we are all Spiritual beings. As kids, we don’t think from our rational minds, this is why they say Kids are Gods.
Also, I always have loved every animal/insect/bird that I have seen since I was a kid and it has been vice versa too. Okay, I might say something that might creep you a bit so sorry in advance, Snakes have always found me attractive and vice versa. Of course, whenever I went to my village, I would always spot snakes, I have seen them dance, I have seen the shredded skin everywhere and that fascination lead me to say to everyone, that I want to have Snakes as pets one day in my life.
So this school I was working on earlier was located in the mountains and of course, there were snakes and of course, I attracted them. I don’t want to creep you out if you haven’t already, the first time, there was this Juvenile snake under my skirt, the 2nd time, I had just come back from travelling to another city, I switched off the lights and went to bed, in few seconds I heard something falling on the floor, I put on the torch and saw a snake had fallen from the roof, right opposite to my bed, the 3rd time, I was enjoying an evening and then I saw this really big fellow who had caught a frog and was just lying around and enjoying his/her evening!
Yeah, so again all spiritual humans said you are more inclined towards animals and animals find you attractive, so here you go, I was spiritual all the time then!
But, I was raised in a hardcore Non-vegetarian family so I have eaten animals and I also wanted to be adventurous as I am a foodie and I was in that mindset, that I have to try everything before I die kind of one. Well now, the good news is I am a vegetarian, again eating Non-Veg was something that I was not completely drawn into. It was a little tough to say no in family gatherings. But, the last 2 months I noticed my body was always being weird, and I would have stomach upset every time I ate non-veg so I decided to listen to my body!
Again, going back to my childhood and my time in the village, My Grandmother raised a good amount of chicken, at the same time, we cut them and ate them too. So I have been on both extremes, I have felt and experienced the playfulness of a Chicken by playing with them, watching them lay their eggs, watching the baby chicks come out of their shells, I have also witnessed their heads being chopped off and collected the blood.
I have come to peace with it now, to live in the memories of playing with the chicken. Also, this is not the first time of me going Vegetarian. In my college days, I attended this workshop and saw cows being slaughtered and I went vegetarian for 2 years straight and on a trip to Kerala, I saw this fried fish, I got tempted and switched back.
But this time, it is definitely for good. I am not switching back again unless I get stranded on an island like Tom Hanks in Cast Away.
Yours Consciously Sneha 