Just like everybody else on this planet, all I wanted in my life is to be happy. Like who doesn’t? Hahaha! We all want to, yet we still are not, from inside. At least the ones I have attracted in my life before hahaha. I had a pretty decent childhood, village travels and a normal Indian middle-class life in the city with great friends by my house, both the schools I studied was good giving preference to extra activities which was my favourite part-dancing, singing, sports, etc etc etc.

As I stepped into adulthood is when everything seemed so strict around me, pressure to score good marks, pressure to find a good college, pressure to find a good job, pressure to find a good husband. Oh my, I can go on.

Again, not to complain, all my corporate jobs was decent enough unlike others, I had good fun in those 6 years, made good friends at that time. In fact my last job in Cisco was good, I would always say that I would get a job in Cisco during my retiring days.

But, that Joy I was seeking that I had as a kid, no, it was not there at all.

Fast forward to many years=to 2021 when my journey towards being a successful entrepreneur and being rich began hahaha little did I know, on this journey I would find that Joy back again.

To be sure, I checked on the internet or the Google god hahaha on what’s the difference between happiness and Joy, it said Happiness is something that comes out from an external source like a show or a movie or friends or family or book, you fill-up the blank to whatever makes you happy.

Joy is something that you feel, even when you don’t have all this. You are at the present, you are living the now and you are still joyful.

I keep telling this all the time, I have spoken about this so many times on my YouTube and Instagram, if you follow me here, I am sorry if you are sick of it!  So September 1st is my birthday and this month, every morning when I woke up I had a huge smile and in the night when I slept too and of course all through the day as well.

I was dancing all the time, I was dancing on the terrace not worrying about who is watching me, I was grinning as much as my chin and jaws hurt. Mind you, at this time, I barely had made any progress or I should I chose not to have any hahaha, no big social media following, So, there was absolutely no external factor at all that was making me happy. It was all that baby kind of smile for no reason, absolute pure joy that I barely can explain words.

Recently when I was checking my Journal, I saw quite a few things that were written and that’s when I realised why I was feeling so content and full that way. August was exactly the opposite, I will need another full episode to share what happened this month, but anyway in the last week of August every morning, I started to write about what was happening to my mind and body. The thoughts, the feelings, the pain all of it. Usually, whenever I write anything, it’s in the form of a letter. Say, for example, if I need to remind myself and tell myself or write about my accomplishments, I start with Dear Sneha.

The same way, If I have something to ask or tell the Universe, I say Dear Universe, so in of those letters that I have written, I found this piece where I have asked sorry for all that I have done in my past and also for ignoring the signs that were sent to me-during some of the tragic moments of my life.

If you are listening to this and wondering what is she talking about, some woohoo story, I won’t judge you, because if I would have read something like this 3 years ago, I would have said the same.

You see, there is this saying called in Kannada, Kannada is the language we speak in South India for those who don’t know. “Sankata bandaga venkataramana” means, whenever you are in trouble is when you think of God.

Well, this is what is told to us too, cry, plead and beg god when you are in pain. And then God will be like, oh I never said that! I don’t want you to cry, plead and Beg, all I want you to do is communicate to me in the language I know and that is Love. Hahhaa! Okay, this is a topic for another day.

So, there were many many many traumatic incidents in my life in the past, and all thanks to my memory, I remember every bit of it. Also, I remember just before it happened, there was also a sign all the time for me not to go ahead with it. But I still did, of course, I am also not blaming myself, my nervous system was used to being in a traumatic state and all that I attracted was that.

So point being, when I was writing those letters I kind of realised that I need to apologise to the Universe for ignoring the signs and also surrender all of that paint that I went through. Also, mind you, I can’t remember intentionally writing this, those words possibly just felt out as it had to be cleared out.

That lightness I felt, that charm on my face, those dance moves were all due to the results of letting go of whatever I was holding on to.  As kids, we are exactly like this, because we are not born with any sufferings or pain or fear, this is why kids are genuinely happy.

And that my friends, is how I got my Joy back.

Work with me 1:1 to transform yourself to live the life you deserve to live, click here.

Surrender you all, Surrender! Let the Ego go go and open your soul and heart to heal.

Yours Consciously

Sneha