Yours Consciously Sneha

Tag: lifecoach

  • Fear of Failure is an Illusion!

    As I am getting closer to celebrating my 1 year anniversary as an Entrepreneur of my Upcycling business, which I launched last year on April 20th. I have just been seeing some old photos of the posts and reels I have shared on Instagram.

    If you don’t know what I do, I collect fabric leftovers during the production process and make products from them. If you would like to buy, check my Instagram page @upcyclewither. So when I first started, I wanted this brand to be a Women’s Apparel brand, if you would have read this post called “Learnings and Musings of 2021” you would know the story.

    Anyway, in short, I launched the brand, it was in the mid of the raging pandemic, but I still did get orders from friends and in a month’s time by end of May or so, I had to let go of the tailor I was working with. I personally do not have any degree in fashion or sewing,  at that time I had just learnt some basics from that tailor.

    So I cancelled all of these orders or rather said I will keep it on hold until I find another tailor, and that did not happen either. I slowly started to learn online and started stitching myself and introducing accessories like Coasters, Handbags and so on.

    What I wanted to talk about in particular in this episode is “Failures” and how we perceive them. Failures are Feedback, there is nothing wrong or right about it, or rather there are a lot of right things that come with it. Then why are we so afraid of them, in my perspective, we are not afraid of failures, rather we are afraid of how people will look at us if we fail at something.

    In that fear, very often we may not even want to take that step and even if we do if there is the feedback we do not know how to process it in a healthy way.

    I have just been trying to recollect how I held myself when I realised I cannot make it as an apparel brand and then switched over to accessories.

    I had done a pretty good mindset work by then, on not wanting to give any thought to how others are going to judge me because I did not make it as an Apparel brand. I was of course very upset about how to go about this but at the same time, I also firmly believed that everything happens for a reason and at this moment I will concentrate on what can be done and what can I learn from this situation.

    I was also joking on Instagram 2 days ago, coz I love clothes and I am glad that the apparel line did not work out coz I was afraid that I will keep it all to myself which I did with a few of them.  hahaha

    Last week I watched the documentary Return to Space the story of Elon Musk how he started Space X and about all their rocket launches and failures and success stories. The first 3 launches of SpaceX failed and that cost them 100 million dollars that’s how much Elon Musk had at that time to invest, they did not stop after that. He and his team worked together again and built another rocket which was a success. Rest is history, you all know how Successful he is now with SpaceX.

    This is the mindset most successful people operate from, I always wondered why the failures aren’t spoken much of, that’s coz they don’t stick on it too much. Okay, it’s done, it’s over, we have learnt something from it and how can I implement that on the next one.

    Just this one mindset is enough, for us to handle anything in life-personal or professional. And you know, when your mindset is so strong you will energetically repel all those people you are worried about who are going to shame you or even if they do, you will not bother about it anymore.

    Now that you are aware, failure is an illusion, here is a sign for you to start whatever you have been putting on hold.

    Introducing my new coaching program, Rewind to Rewire to work through all these blocks of Failures and Success, click here to apply.

    Yours Consciously

    Sneha

  • PEOPLE PLEASING-HOW TO BRING INTO CONSCIOUS AWARENESS!

    After I realised most of my relationships and friendships were so rooted in me Pleasing them, I was like, God, I need to be awarded as the Best People Pleaser! hahaha

    So, People Pleasing is a Trauma response and in Psychological terms, it is called Fawning. One of the ways how our body keeps us safe in the survival state.

    For me People Pleasing was, to give gifts. Always, anybody, I meet, even for a few hours or just know them for a while, I would buy them real pricey gifts you know. I just could not tolerate anybody not liking me, I had to please them somehow.  I would always be available for everyone, carry everybody’s emotional weight, feel bad if someone don’t share with me and shares it with someone else, I just could not say NO, I clearly could not draw boundaries too.

    Especially for people who have a Mother wound, as in your Mother was not available for you emotionally or you lost your mother at a younger age. You may develop this pattern of pleasing people as you have developed this fear of losing people.

    So last year, when all of this came into my consciousness, I told myself, Okay now I am going to start saying No to people-whoever it is friends or family, does not matter! As I was mostly at home, and barely had any communication at all with the outside world I could not test it, all I could do is with family-which was very difficult in the beginning, eventually, I did start telling No to family members as well specifically my brother who would always borrow money from me.

    There was one funny incident that happened though, the first week of hiring the coach, as I was talking to her I was sharing my family story and I was feeling so bad that I was dumping on her and I was like “I am sorry to share this, I know its all too much” hahaha She was a sweet girl and she immediately told me its not too much.

    And it took me a week or two, oh boy! Its again coming from a place of pleasing someone, can you believe I hired a coach asking for help and feeling bad asking for help hahahahah

    Another story was, this new neighbour girl who bought scrunchies from me did not pay me for a while. I was so hesitant to ask her, after a long wait I messaged her and told her to pay me. I actually live in a small town and don’t really have any friends here, so this girl seemed like I can have a friend and I realised later that I had this fear I would lose her if at all I ask for my money. Around this time, I read this quote “Real connections will never leave you, whatever the circumstances are.”

    After a few months, the same girl and his family were going out of town and her mother had asked me if I can take care of their cat. I said cool, I can, I have taken care of that cat before and I did not have any issue genuinely and after a few days, I am still sleeping around 7 am or so and she calls. I did not answer as I felt a little violated by the boundary and hear someone knocking on my door, it was his brother with the cat. I felt uncomfortable, took the cat and started my day, what happened after really put me off!

    At this time, I was working on a quilting project {you can buy my products on Instagram @upcyclewither} and I was quite packed that week. So these people absolutely did not think of any of my work and she kept sending parcels over parcels of cat food and other stuff. I was getting agitated as I had work and I had to pick up so many parcels. I did not want to ruin my mood and continued with my work as I didn’t want to transfer that energy into it. After my work was done, I was just relaxing and another parcel comes by and this time, this girl did not even inform me that this parcel was coming through.

    I was like that’s it, I need to talk and I immediately messaged her saying this was not right whatever you did, you need to understand what boundaries are, just because I am home, does not mean I am free and blah blah blah

    I was also very happy deep inside that I have finally learnt a lesson on how to draw boundaries, she was like okay I am coming to pick the cat and she came, then I go like, see it is not about me, it is about the cat, I didn’t like tying her as I was working!

    After she left, I was like, why the hell did I say that! It was about the cat, yes, but it was about me also! Eeekkkkkk.

    So, my dear friends, I am sharing this to tell you that, bringing awareness is the first step, an action has to be taken, and it won’t happen overnight. Consistent action towards drawing boundaries, consistently practising to tell yourself that it is okay to draw boundaries.

    It actually feels extremely selfish, especially when you have people pleased all your life. The fear comes in that you might lose people and at the same time you actually don’t have to feel bad if you do fail in drawing boundaries.

    So how to bring to conscious awareness, as in to know whether you are People Pleasing or if you are genuinely helping:

    1. It is always One-sided. For Ex: you are always the one making plans, you are always the one checking on everyone. It is almost never or usually very minimal from the other side.

    (Most of my past friends were like this) hahaha

    2. You feel energetically drained after trying to help or fix someone, which means you are genuinely not doing it.

    3. Somewhere deep in the heart, you feel, will these people really be there for me when I need them.

    4. People usually call you strong because you are always listening to everyone and usually always available.

    5. You almost never say NO, whatever situation you are in: emotionally, physically or even materialistically. You still want to step ahead and help them.

    {Apply for 1:1 Coaching to transform yourself to live the life you deserve to live, here}

    So, these are some of the things that you can consciously notice, and then you can take the decision of whether to have these people around you or not.

    And when you do start setting boundaries,  be nice to yourself, you will overthink if you did anything wrong, you will feel selfish, you will feel weird, your body will act weird, remember you are shedding a skin that you are holding on to for a long time now.

    If you do fail drawing boundaries, don’t feel bad, it’s okay, try again, and again and again.

    Remember you are not alone in this, and you won’t be left alone. I am actually telling this to myself as I tell it to you. There are 8 billion people in the world and I am also here for you my loves.

    So you are never alone.

    Yours Consciously

    Sneha

  • THE JOY IN ME TO YOU!

    Just like everybody else on this planet, all I wanted in my life is to be happy. Like who doesn’t? Hahaha! We all want to, yet we still are not, from inside. At least the ones I have attracted in my life before hahaha. I had a pretty decent childhood, village travels and a normal Indian middle-class life in the city with great friends by my house, both the schools I studied was good giving preference to extra activities which was my favourite part-dancing, singing, sports, etc etc etc.

    As I stepped into adulthood is when everything seemed so strict around me, pressure to score good marks, pressure to find a good college, pressure to find a good job, pressure to find a good husband. Oh my, I can go on.

    Again, not to complain, all my corporate jobs was decent enough unlike others, I had good fun in those 6 years, made good friends at that time. In fact my last job in Cisco was good, I would always say that I would get a job in Cisco during my retiring days.

    But, that Joy I was seeking that I had as a kid, no, it was not there at all.

    Fast forward to many years=to 2021 when my journey towards being a successful entrepreneur and being rich began hahaha little did I know, on this journey I would find that Joy back again.

    To be sure, I checked on the internet or the Google god hahaha on what’s the difference between happiness and Joy, it said Happiness is something that comes out from an external source like a show or a movie or friends or family or book, you fill-up the blank to whatever makes you happy.

    Joy is something that you feel, even when you don’t have all this. You are at the present, you are living the now and you are still joyful.

    I keep telling this all the time, I have spoken about this so many times on my YouTube and Instagram, if you follow me here, I am sorry if you are sick of it!  So September 1st is my birthday and this month, every morning when I woke up I had a huge smile and in the night when I slept too and of course all through the day as well.

    I was dancing all the time, I was dancing on the terrace not worrying about who is watching me, I was grinning as much as my chin and jaws hurt. Mind you, at this time, I barely had made any progress or I should I chose not to have any hahaha, no big social media following, So, there was absolutely no external factor at all that was making me happy. It was all that baby kind of smile for no reason, absolute pure joy that I barely can explain words.

    Recently when I was checking my Journal, I saw quite a few things that were written and that’s when I realised why I was feeling so content and full that way. August was exactly the opposite, I will need another full episode to share what happened this month, but anyway in the last week of August every morning, I started to write about what was happening to my mind and body. The thoughts, the feelings, the pain all of it. Usually, whenever I write anything, it’s in the form of a letter. Say, for example, if I need to remind myself and tell myself or write about my accomplishments, I start with Dear Sneha.

    The same way, If I have something to ask or tell the Universe, I say Dear Universe, so in of those letters that I have written, I found this piece where I have asked sorry for all that I have done in my past and also for ignoring the signs that were sent to me-during some of the tragic moments of my life.

    If you are listening to this and wondering what is she talking about, some woohoo story, I won’t judge you, because if I would have read something like this 3 years ago, I would have said the same.

    You see, there is this saying called in Kannada, Kannada is the language we speak in South India for those who don’t know. “Sankata bandaga venkataramana” means, whenever you are in trouble is when you think of God.

    Well, this is what is told to us too, cry, plead and beg god when you are in pain. And then God will be like, oh I never said that! I don’t want you to cry, plead and Beg, all I want you to do is communicate to me in the language I know and that is Love. Hahhaa! Okay, this is a topic for another day.

    So, there were many many many traumatic incidents in my life in the past, and all thanks to my memory, I remember every bit of it. Also, I remember just before it happened, there was also a sign all the time for me not to go ahead with it. But I still did, of course, I am also not blaming myself, my nervous system was used to being in a traumatic state and all that I attracted was that.

    So point being, when I was writing those letters I kind of realised that I need to apologise to the Universe for ignoring the signs and also surrender all of that paint that I went through. Also, mind you, I can’t remember intentionally writing this, those words possibly just felt out as it had to be cleared out.

    That lightness I felt, that charm on my face, those dance moves were all due to the results of letting go of whatever I was holding on to.  As kids, we are exactly like this, because we are not born with any sufferings or pain or fear, this is why kids are genuinely happy.

    And that my friends, is how I got my Joy back.

    Work with me 1:1 to transform yourself to live the life you deserve to live, click here.

    Surrender you all, Surrender! Let the Ego go go and open your soul and heart to heal.

    Yours Consciously

    Sneha