Yours Consciously Sneha

Tag: writing

Lessons I learned on my spiritual journey were reaffirmed from the movie- Penguins of Madagascar!
This weekend I watched the movie Penguins of Madagascar, I watched a movie after a really long time. Yesterday was Ugadi, the new year for us, after celebrating in my village and all the heavy cleaning that I did at home, my body was tired so I thought let me watch a movie. First of all, it’s been so long since I watched one and it’s been really long since I watched an animated one. I was confused to choose which one, and then I saw this movie, I love Penguins so I was like okay! Let’s do this!

When I was working in a school a few years ago, the most fun job I had was to do research on the movies for the kids to watch and play that movie for them. During this time, I use to watch the movies with them and I realised how animated movies are so philosophical and wondered why Adults cringe to watch animated movies.

Sorry, if you haven’t watched the movie, this is going to be a spoiler.

Okay, now the lessons:
1. Follow your path, Not the Herd.
In the very first scene of the movie, there is an egg that flows on the snowy path where there is a group of penguins walking one behind another in a straight line. There are 3 little penguins, who come out of the line and question where are they even going in the same line like everybody else, and another penguin says we just follow everybody. At the same time, they see an egg falling off and they are on a mission to save the egg. Even though they do see death threats from other creatures, they still go ahead and save the egg somehow and find their 4^th partner in their “Adventure”.

One thing is to follow whatever is right for you and not what the majority of society says or does, and question if at all you do feel you are blindly following what everybody is doing. Questioning is the first step in itself, to find the path-in case you are confused about what your path is!

2. Blinded by the Idea of Beauty-Physical Appearance

Just like in every story, there is a villain in this movie too. The Charming Villian as they call him, Dave the Octopus who once was the star of the show in the circus, loses his fans when the cute penguins come in. He would be doing really well with his skills and when the Penguins come in, people stop looking at Octopus and then he is sent away in a cage. He later kidnaps the four penguins-Skipper, Kowalski, Rico and Private and tells them that everybody thinks he is ugly and the Penguins are super cute so he is been plotting revenge for many years now against them.

You see, the skills that Octopus has, the Penguins do not and vice versa. The comparisons of the external beauty with others, and the whole idea of external beauty in itself, will only blind us from seeing our own skills and leads to chronic comparisons with others, Jealousy, revenge and all that will only go spiralling downwards.

3. Revenge is an Infinite Poison to the Ego

So now, long story short-Dave the Octopus kidnaps all the Penguins all across the world, even from Bangalore hah hahaha I was laughing when they mentioned Bangalore as this is where I live. Okay, getting back to the plot, so he kidnaps all of them to make them look all Ugly with his dangerous Poison called “Ray” that he has developed.

He does inject this poison and all the penguins come out looking ugly and the Octopus is having that victorious villain laugh, he screams on the mike, that I am Happy and yet, now that I have my revenge, I feel, empty; as if what I needed all along is more revenge! Then he says to his octopus assistant Robin-that tomorrow we move on to Kittens, then Puppies, Bunnies, Pandas.

See, this is what it is about Revenge. It is never-ending, even though it feels satisfying once we have it, although it is the Ego that is satisfied, and the Ego is also never satisfied with that feeling so want more so you will create more scenarios and the revenge adds on like an Infinite Poison to the Ego

4. Accepting that we are wrong when we are wrong

There is other spy character that I liked in the movie, called Classified played by the Dog. Classified has his own rescue agency where he rescues animals. He once rescues these penguins from Dave the Octopus, and they together plan to go against Dave but somewhere the Penguins screw up the whole plan and he does not trust them anymore.

The next time, the Penguins follow their suit and this time their plan gets screwed up and they get trapped along with the penguins.

In the end, he and his agents do come back but the 4-star penguins have already been on the mission of saving the rest of the Penguins and in the end, Classified accepts that he was wrong about the penguins and their plan and mission.

Even though he always showed himself as the most skilled and trained professional in rescuing animals, when he did see the Penguins do all the work. He did drop his ego and appreciated the work they did.

And how often, do we forget this about appreciating our peers, our friends, our family when they do a good job. The ego, of course, loves that feeling of “I know everything” and by appreciating others I am putting myself down. But it is actually the opposite, by appreciating others, you are appreciating their work and you are also raising your vibrations and not falling into the trap of Competition and Comparisons. Where everything looks equal, nobody is high or low!

5. Don’t limit your dreams!

At the beginning of the scene, these 3 little penguins question on why do they have those little wings when they cant fly. In the end after Classified, praises them, he asks how can he repay them. Since he is so skilled technically and develops super cool technology, the penguins ask him for Jet Packs and in the end, they are flying so happily.

By saying, Who says Penguins cant fly!

If Wright brothers had limited their thinking that as humans we cannot fly, we would not have planes perhaps. So don’t ever limit yourself with your dreams, something that you feel that is impossible is may be the path for you to make it possible.

Dont you worry about how it is going to happen if these penguins were worried that they cant fly and just sulked on it. They would have just followed the herd just like everybody else, but they came out, they lived in the moment, they were happy, they took risks, they enjoyed their journey and in the end something they once thought that they cant, they eventually did!

Hope you all learnt something from this, right now in my life I am going through a different phase and I surely wanted all of these to be re affirmed. This is why I always say, things do not happen to us as a Coincidence, we are all meant to see something, hear from some people for a reason and that reason is for our growth! It is the way, Universe is helping you!

Yours Consciously

Sneha
April 4, 2022
Dark & Lovely!
Look anywhere and everywhere, there are blatant and subtle reinforcements that only fair is lovely. The men have also joined the race with an equal number of fairness products. Such pressure and so little public debate around it-Nandita Das

Makeup

As a kid, makeup to me was applying face cream, powder, and bindi. That’s how my mother did to herself and me. This routine was in the morning after bath and evening after school, after a few years I started following this routine myself. We all follow our parents’ impressions, don’t we? To be specific on what we used, It was Vicco Turmeric face cream, Lakme compact powder. You can now imagine this scenario in the ’90s, where there were barely any cosmetic brands and even a colour TV in a middle-class household to show the difference between a dark skin tone and a fair skin tone.

This was my favourite time in front of the mirror, these 5 minutes I would grin and kiss myself until the mirror broke (okay, not really). The smell of Vicco Turmeric on my skin was my savoury, my energy booster. Until Vicco Turmeric and Black and White TV were in my life, I didn’t know I was of darker skin tone. (As per societal standards)

Colours

And then, our house had to be lit up with colours and a box of sweets to distribute to the neighbours, as we welcomed our BPL colour TV. It’s all about colours now, like a beautiful rainbow in a dark sky. A smaller version of me welcomed the Colour TV and the cable TV with the enthusiasm of watching colourful shows. What I loved the most about Colour TV was the Advertisements. I would diligently watch the Ad’s with the same interest as I would watch a movie/tv show.

Ask any 90’s kid in India, they will know all the ad’s by heart. If you are one of them reading this, I can hear you humming Washing Powder Nirma, Washing Powder Nirma 😀 However, somewhere between these Nirma’s and Liril’s, the fairness cream ad’s had an impact on me. Also, Unknowingly Colour TV’s contributed to colourism on a much larger scale.

Fair & Famous

In this specific Ad, where Actress Genelia is dreaming to be a cricket commentator, she will not be able to grow in her career. She gets fair and lovely in her hand and she becomes a commentator, the fame follows her. So as a kid, what seeded deep in me was, to be famous, I need to be fair. The switch from Vicco Turmeric to Fair & Lovely happened in no time, I was obsessed with this idea of becoming “Fair & Famous (Probably their product name should have been this). Every time the face cream gets empty, I made a rule in my house, that it should only be me who goes to buy a new one.

Teenage! What a beautiful age that we all cherish, the memories we make at this age will stay with us forever. Only if everyone remembers that probably there will not be any bullies at all. I was humiliated multiple times for my colour, I don’t remember feeling bad for it because you know I had my Fair & ~~Famous~~ Lovely in my hand. I knew one day I will be Fair & Famous (this time I mean it), and that day I will take my revenge on these bullies.

At that age we will not even know it’s bullying, we assume there is something wrong in us, something wrong with the way we are born and we try to make that Wrong->Right. That’s when, Fair & Lovely turned to me as a friend, that pink tube with a smell that changes your life overnight. I had dreams every time I held the cream in my hand & looked at the mirror. I had dreams of being an Air hostess, of being a TV host, of being an actress, of being a model, and I knew none of this is possible until I turn “fair”.

Fair & Lovely was a huge hit, every household I knew had a tube, it turned out like a need as much as drinking water. It didn’t stop there, the success made them branch out to launch different flavours of it like Icecreams. One of my favourites was, Fair & Lovely Ayurveda, that’s when my hopes went even higher. You know, how important Ayurveda is in every Indian house, they touched my heart as they imbibed the core strength of India-Ayurveda.

I started earning, I invested in buying fairness kits, few “Upper-middle-class brands” and I even took a step ahead of getting facials done in the salon. A salon is a place where they will make sure to put your self-esteem down as much as they can, to increase their profits. You go to shape your eyebrows, they say things like we have this special facial that will turn your face like a full moon.

The switch

The switch gradually happened, I can’t remember anything in particular that changed my thinking. I stopped using fairness creams, I switched to conscious brands like The Body Shop, I was using BB/CC creams. At this point, I did not have any goal to turn fair; I just needed healthy skin. Around this time, I stumbled upon the campaign by Nandita Das-“Dark & Beautiful” on Facebook. That poster I saw is still edged in front of my eyes when I think of it, it gave me hope that if an actress is promoting a darker colour, so why cant I feel good about what I am born with.

I quit my job and started travelling, I met travellers from all across the world, mostly Europeans and a few Americans. They were all complaining about how much they hate their colour, and how jealous they are of my colour. Even while typing this, I smiled because that boosted my self-esteem that day and the thought of it does, even now.

I also had very little money so I could not afford any products, worked out even better as I started indulging in using products available at home. That’s what our Ayurveda is about, we never had the idea of cream, powder or soap. We have always used the ingredients available in the backyard of our house, turmeric for the face and curry leaves for hair. The beauty is, they need not even be applied externally.

To be fair

In all fairness, guess what I didn’t turn fair (I am ROFL as I typed this sentence), I didn’t turn fair for good. I didn’t turn fair even though I contributed to the biggest scam, I didn’t turn fair although I made these MNC’s turn into billionaires. To be fair, I didn’t turn fair!

All thanks to social media and the exposure of women who are standing tall, strong and proud, whatsoever colour they are. I read lots of stories about how deeply our society is obsessed with the idea of the colour white on our skin. The only colour they can accept on the skin is “White”. I am happy with the changes happening currently in the world, with the communities formed supporting all colours.

We still have a long way to go, just last month; while having dinner with few friends. A friend pointed out at another friend and said, “her colour has increased” (that’s the closest translation I could do of this statement in Kannada) If I would have turned darker, that would have not even been a part of the discussion because Black is not referred as a colour! (Only with skin)

There are lots of factors behind this, which may need another post. Most of the times, these conversations are not even intentional, it’s a conditioned conversation is that I would like to call. If we would like to change the conditioning, we will have to stop ourselves, think before we talk. That’s how we put a break, that’s how our kids learn, that’s how we pave way for our younger generation to accept how they are.

I would like to share 2 instances that have stuck in my head and affected me on a negative note, I want to put it down here so that I can put this to the grave at last. Those situations and words can’t be reversed but can be forgotten!
1. During my MBA days, we were on a field trip. All of us were out in the sun, I was applying sunscreen. A classmate of mine, in front of everyone, said: “Sneha, how much ever sunscreen you apply, you won’t turn fair” and started laughing out loud.
2. At that right age of marriage, that’s defined by society. You know arranged marriage proposals start coming in. I denied getting married to all those proposals that came in. In front of my mother, this aunt (my mother’s sister) said to me. You are not good looking, how do we find boys for you if you keep denying them!! I remember my mother, feeling insulted about this more than myself.
Whoever is reading this, who could relate or not, who was part of these kinds of situation. Just know, that the moon has dark patches too. Still glows, and still beautiful.

Photos clicked by a dear friend Baishaki Mehatori.

Blooming…

Wildflower
March 29, 2021
5 years…

Time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time-J. R. R. Tolkien

Time flies they say, it indeed does. It’s been 5 long years since I published my first blog post. I read it again today, I remember how emotional I was that day when I clicked on that publish button. I received calls from friends that night giving a virtual hug. I was in my corporate job, I was travelling on and off following all the travel bloggers I admired. I was also keen on starting a fashion blog, I was following a few fashion bloggers who set an inspiration. In this dilemma, I thought let me just give it a shot with blogging; whatever it may be. It kind of started as a fashion blog, more than the fashion I fell in love with writing.

Through a common friend, I found a photographer/friend who agreed to do photography. We clicked well, every time I would get an idea, we would discuss and select a theme, go ahead with the photography. So the writing always came first, everything else revolved around it. Unknowingly, it was not even a fashion blog anymore; I do not know if there should be any categorization even, but it went well. I was elated every time I would share a blog post.

A few months later, I decided to quit my job and travel. That was one of the fiery statements on social media 5 years ago. Don’t believe me? Just type “I quit my job to travel” and you will be startled to see how many blog posts you would find. I was one of the sheep too who followed that herd of “I quit my job to travel”. It was all rosy in the initial days until the money got over. You know, not everyone would share the hardships they go through, its only the smooth sailing they talk about.

As a reader and an “Aspiring blogger”, I fell for it, royally. The days got tougher, I was doing remote jobs for a few months and travelling. I would be mostly exhausted on thinking of jobs on how to make money. It is close to impossible to make money with freelancing, the freelancing write-ups I did, the money would come somewhere between 4-6 months after the article gets published. So until then, consider that I am broke, no job, no travels, no writing, no life.

All that I aspired to be, went in vain. My writing got slower, I was doing very minimal freelance work, rather I was getting minimal freelance work. I volunteered with a few NGO’s and attended some friend’s weddings. That’s how my travels were. Somewhere I had forgotten the purpose of my existence, the reason why I quit my job, the reason why I didn’t want to live the city life. And Sometimes I feel if I just gave up too easily.

Blogging industry was booming and so was social media, there were/are millions of bloggers and influencers. Every time I am on my computer, I would see these posts saying “20 things to do/see/eat before you turn 20” and I would thank all the billion gods that blogging didn’t work out for me. Every blogger out there has a USP which they try to sell, say for example “Being Vegan”, most of their posts would revolve around it.

It was not interesting to me anymore, I was glad I didn’t take up travel blogging seriously. We weren’t syncing well so I decided to take up a full-time job 2 years ago. In another 2 days, I would hit 2 years mark of working here; longest I have ever stayed after quitting my “Corporate job”. Writing didn’t happen much here, but I did lots of drawing/sketching and dancing. But, I did miss writing and when I did, I would write on Instagram and share a post. Once in a few months, I would write a poem to fill the void.

This whole journey of blogging seems so erratic, it’s been 5 years since I started but I have probably lived in it for 2.5 to 3 years maybe. I am back on track with writing again, neither fashion nor travel. It’s called, “I will write what I want to write”.

Come, read along?

Blooming…

Wild Flower

April 20, 2020
Batman & Buddha

Why do we fall? So that we can learn to pick ourselves, up-Mr Thomas Wayne.

22/03/2020

The day I saw Batman Begins (Not at all because of the Janata Curphew-only for “Indians”)

I am not a superhero fan, hence avoided watching Christopher Nolan’s Batman series. People who know me and my theories of life and my prejudice towards humans, also being a movie buff, it is quite surprising for anyone to believe that I haven’t watched Batman series. After Joker was a huge hit, the pressure from a friend to having me watch Batman series was quite high. And then came Corona/COVID-19 and Isolation and the dark times. So, the best time to enter into a void filled with darkness. Right? Well, so ready to fly?

Sunday it was, also declared as Janata Curphew in India due to Corona/COVID-19. Being in isolation mostly, this didn’t mean much but it did mean that I am not stepping out to even buy chips. Now, getting back to the actual talk, I did all the cooking and opened my laptop at 12:30 pm with brunch in my hand and laptop on my stacked pillows to watch Batman Begins. I drew the curtains for the “Dark effect”(to avoid glare-just say it) and the Batman Begins.

Guess what, halfway through the movie. Something creepy happened, blazing hot sun slipped away and dark clouds entered. There was thundering & lightning, darkness all around. Looked like the universe was trying to tell me something. Hire Morgan Freeman maybe?

A Little Background

Every movie/series that I watch, I always relate to the scenarios that happened in my life or to something that may happen in future.

For example, when Master Bruce falls into the well and sees Bats fly, it reminded me of a Bat baby that I lived with, in my room. She did no harm to me, once I saw her hanging on the fan and she flew as soon as she felt someone was around and I covered my face with arms exactly like how Master Bruce did.

Getting back to the Movie

Master Bruce leaving his wealth behind and walking away reminded me of the book “Siddhartha” by Herman Hesse. More so like Buddha’s life rather, which Master Bruce was trying to live. His clothing, his travels, his lifestyle and his quest in search of the meaning of existence.

Personal Thoughts? Huh! Or Learning Outcomes maybe(I work in a school you see, Ssshhh)

You always fear what you don’t understand-Batman

There are contradictions in me all the time, about compassion & vengeance; about love and hatred; about forgiving and revenge. We live in an evil world like many says, but what’s evil to me may not be evil to you. So who defines what’s evil and what’s not! Or if it is a real evil as defined by “Global Oxford Dictionary”, how do we win over the evil? By compassion, so if we are nice to Evil, the Evil will be nice to us? Then why are they called Evil il if they can be nice!!! Compassion does the magic, perhaps?

As I was typing this, the almost last scene from “The Dark Knight” of two ships appeared in front of my eyes. Compassion does have some power and so does hope to believe in compassion.

For many years I believed if anybody is bad to me, I will be bad to them. This is how they will know how being bad feels like. After a few years, I realized, hang on! If I am bad to them, they will again be bad to me and to someone else and this goes on like a chain and we are filled with bad people so this is not a solution. Probably if I show compassion to those people who are bad to me, they may be turn out to be good.

Right now, I am stuck in between both of these theories. In many instances of my life, when I have responded with revenge, it has helped. It may have not helped them, but has helped me in terms of Self-pride and satisfaction. I will just worry about myself and my happiness, who am I to change the world. A Batman? At the same time, being good has also torn me to pieces that I am still trying to collect to make it one. Because good things always come with a cost you see?

I would be lying if I don’t mention, how much I savoured seeing Joker being hopeful about the crackers flying in the sky (Ships bursting). Sadist eh? and also thankful that the crackers didn’t blow up in the sky. See the contradictions?

I hope I have left with enough worms in all your head to scratch and pull it out!

THE END

I do not really have any clarity after watching these movies either, the contradiction still lies. So for now, I have decided to be both Joker and Batman, use the masks effectively as and when needed.

Anyway, we are all wearing a mask all the time! (Not the Corona Mask you guys, phew)

You all know, what!

But, it still tickles me, if Batman had anything to do with Buddha.

What do you think?

Blooming…

Wild Flower

April 12, 2020
One Trail Many Stories

Everything I learned I learned from the movies-Audrey Hepburn

There is this part of me which floats in the scenes of movies, a part of me that always thinks how does a real-life will be if it was like in movies. With background music, slow motion of a leaf touching the ground, happy endings and sometimes sad endings too. And sometimes, I wonder if the movies are real and if we are living an imaginary life.

I was introduced to West Bengal through a movie, a movie called Parineeta(Porineeta as they say). Many years ago, when I was in college and most of my classmates were from West Bengal. Other than marking West Bengal on a map for a question in a unit test during school days, I didn’t know much about the state. There were no blogs then or rather high-speed internet too to quickly google if I would like to know about a place.

I am glad we didn’t though as West Bengal was introduced to me by the people, food and movies. I knew they loved food, even better if the food has fish and potato. I knew they love dressing up. I knew married ladies wear sindhoor in the partition where the hair gets divided to half, I knew they were white sarees with an elongated seragu (pallu), I knew they wear red and white bangles after marriage. I knew they all had someone else hidden in themselves-a poet, a singer, a writer, a dancer, an actor, an artist.

So, when I stepped into Kolkata last month, even though it was the first time physically, in my mind there was a De Ja Vu moment. I knew I have been here already, it was through a movie. Again, there is this part of me that thinks, if movies are made of real-life or real-life is a movie itself.

The background music just plays though saying Piyu bole & I drift away to another world.

Blooming…

Wild Flower

July 23, 2019