Yours Consciously Sneha

Tag: story

Learnings & Musings of 2021!
As you can see in the title it is all about the learnings I had in 2021, I know we are 1.5 months ahead in 2022 but somehow this topic kept coming back in my head to share my learnings, so here you go the story of my favourite year of my life-The 2021.

Before I start the actual story, I just want to talk about someone who is my online Mentor-Bob Proctor whose videos got me hooked like a fevicoal last year around the same time. He passed from his physical body to eternal spirit last week and I was a little upset. Anyway, I do believe that nobody dies, they are always there for us in another form.

So something interesting happened, the day when I came to know he passed, that night I could not sleep well. I usually don’t do this but every time this has happened, it guides me to open Instagram, I did that day and I saw a new person liking my recent Post. When I went to her profile, it said she is New york’s best selling author and guess what she was also one of the closest friends of Bob Proctor! I was like, wow! There was this post of her’s with photos of Bob and she talking about their friendship and I dwelled up! My goodness, this cannot be a coincidence! Whatever I am now, I owe a lot to him and I know he will always be there for me!

So starting with whatever he imparted on me that had a huge effect starting from January 2021, he always said you are an average of 5 people you hang out with! I was like okay, now that’s something I need to seriously look into; because boy oh boy the friendships I had was nowhere closer to the new Sneha that I was trying to become. So, Let’s dive in!
1. Its okay to put yourself first by Letting go of Old Friendships that does not serve you!
You see when you decide your goals and attain those goals, this is how I need to be and this is how everything around me has to be; the situations and circumstances start to change by themselves. It started with January when there was this circumstance that came up and I had to let go of these girls who were friends with me for more than a decade. Was it painful? Yes, was it required? Also yes! Whatever they did to me in that circumstance was not something that I could accept and I had to take a step back and tell them that I don’t want to be part of this kind of friendship anymore! After this, between Feb to April again certain situations came up where I again let go of another set of long term friends. I don’t know if it is sounding selfish because that’s how it feels as these were long terms friends and they have been there during my worst times but this time the way they were behaving with me was something that I could not tolerate. Even now, if you ask me how I had the courage to do that, I still do not know. Like I said, I guess when you are so firm on what is serving you and what is not, you will take certain decisions that you have never taken in your life to uplevel for the next step. So, I kind of lost about 97% of my friends, I was known to have friends all across the city and none of it mattered to me at that time. I was even fine to have 0 friends, and all that mattered to me was me and my goals and putting myself as a priority first, Finally

2. Opinions of Others that didn’t matter!

It was probably a week to 10 days before I was launching my upcycle business, a friend of mine, again who I knew for more than a decade came home with her partner. The day before she came home, she called me and asked if I would hang out with them that weekend and I immediately said no, I also made a statement that I am not coming out anywhere for the next year. I was laughing at this as I typed along because this is not me who would say something like that! A People pleaser Sneha who does not say no to people finally started doing so.

So both of them came home to pick up something from me and I had just gotten the initial products that were ready for the launch, I was all excited and showing it to them and this dude-her partner goes like-whats a big deal in this, it’s not like an idea that I have never got, oh it is just a piece of Banyan cloth-Banyan cloth for those who don’t know is a cheap elastic fabric! I just smiled at him and said, this much Ego is not good for your health. I am an Empath and I get super sensitive with what others say to me. So again, my goal was much stronger to repel all these opinions that others put out. Anyway, the good news is, that was another friend that was meant to let go and that is why he behaved that way. Universe by my side giggling!

Another one was with this really good friend of mine, she is still a good friend but yes again, everybody has their own limiting beliefs and that’s how their opinions come out. So, I got this idea of creating clothes with stories of people which in my head, was fantastic and brilliant and when I shared it with her, I did not receive a positive response.

I was also talking about this on my youtube video with respect to the topic of Self Love/Self-compassion, this is where it starts when we prioritise that our opinion matters the most and not others.

3. Circumstances that were not in my control

Okay, for those all of you who blame circumstances and situations, this is a must-read. I also want to say, that if you are one of them who blame, there is nothing wrong with it as I was that person too. Since most of society operates that way, we all believe that’s the way to go. So getting into the details now, I launched my brand on April 20th 2021, That date was important, I cannot say what it is but my mind was somehow stuck to that date. This was also the time when Covid was rampaging all around-the second wave. Even though I was having second thoughts if I should go with it, the voice that was louder in me was to go ahead. Also, this good friend of mine, mirrored the same as me that every time there is going to be something.

So, I got all my fabric waste from these factories in a city called Tirupur, and I was so practical and so strategically business-minded, I wanted to have a launch video. I don’t know where I got that idea from, but I wanted to so badly and I wanted it to be a professional video. At that time, this friend of mine whose pictures I saw and liked, I asked her who clicked and she said it was her husband and he is passionate and I could see the passion in the work. I was also in this place where I was still considering this business as a side business and I was not completely serious to be very honest. But, my vision since day 1 was whomever I work with I will pay them well coz I know the pain of not being paid as an artist. So anyway, long story short, I want to keep this one short because this can be an episode in itself, so I met this couple, discussed everything and he suggested we will visit the factory and shoot a video. All that happened, we came back, he sent me the video, this was just about a few days before the launch. I liked the video and in the intro, I wanted a very minor change in the music that was used, so I called him and I explained to him and he immediately goes like, very rudely “I cant compose the music”. I handled it well but I almost got into the tone of crying and immediately sensed okay, I don’t feel like using these videos. I don’t want to start my business with this kind of energy.

I sat on my desk, I cried and I had just written a poem and was staring at it, immediately this guy whom I had met on my travels who had worked on Bollywood was an editor came to my mind and I called him, and he said he can help me out.

So to this other photographer, I sent him the payment and he also kind of sent me another rude text that he will delete all the videos from his drive soon and asked me to download them. The next few days, I was so anxious and was trying to download these files and it was not working with the connection I had I finally decided I don’t feel like using these videos so just texted him to remove it all!

By then, I had this friend who had shown interest in doing photography for me and I asked her if she can take a few clippings as this is not working out. She said yes. That poem I had just written when this guy behaved rudely that day, became the background score and the idea for my launch video and it turned out to be way better than the other one, so intimate and so personal.

There were 2 things I learnt from this: 1. It was my mistake too for not being too serious about my work and randomly making decisions and at the same time accepting myself and not beating myself upon it. 2. To acknowledge that situation also came up because something better is coming up-which eventually did.

And because of this circumstance, another friend went out of the zone too, probably I should have named this as learnings from friends hahaha ex-friends!

After this, I was all preparing well for the launch and something happened again! I was like, Universe, are you freaking kidding me! This is what happened, Just one day before the launch, a closed family member tested positive. This was the time when I would see news of beds not being available in Blore and so much chaos everywhere, I was like phew! And guess what, in just a few hours this family member got a bed and we were told that there was nothing to worry about as it was a moderate case.

That previous night, I ofcourse didn’t sleep and was continuously praying in the hopes of things getting better. It did! So, I went ahead with my launch, it was well-received, ofcourse I was not deeply celebrating, it was also probably coz I was already in that feeling all through the process and at the same time the covid situation too.

I got a few orders and the next week, a strict order of lockdown was announced. I again, took that positively as I had more time to indulge in learning Instagram and marketing and how to promote the products, I was also learning sewing at that time.

The next 2 weeks, was mostly my work on Instagram, 2 of my cousins tested positive, took care of this family member, calls to hospitals and checked on everyone around. My goodness, I probably had like 20 hands and 20 heads with 2 Kalis in my body at that time.

The good things that came out of this Covid situation were, something magically happened with respect to family dynamics. I can’t share the full details as it is too personal, but it all shifted everything in a beautifully positive way; this is also the best manifestation that happened to me last year! Mind you, I had not even asked for it!

4. Broken Promises by People that turned into Biggest Discoveries

At the end of 2020, there was this Sales guy who found my profile on Naukri & called me for a freelance job. At that time, all I wanted was to divert my mind and took it up. I would slog all day and as the days went by, the kind of job role this was I was not feeling connected to as it was to do a lot with Artificial Intelligence as I was a super practical environmentalist person at that time if you would have read the earlier blog post, you know.

After a month when the time came to pay, he was behaving weird and not up for the conversation. Exactly a year ago on 13th February, I had this heated conversation with this guy about his lies and manipulative stories he made about the payment. Speak of the timing eh? I for sure did not know I would be sharing this story as a learning, a year later.

I remember the date so well because I journaled about it, as that night is when the upcycled business idea came in coz I couldn’t sleep as I was so angry at him! So, this was the first person who broke the promise and that led to changing my whole life!!!

I immediately called a tailor near my house who I had once discussed this idea about, at that time she said she cant but this time she said she will. But you see, Universe wants to throw some more situations to make me stronger hahaha! There was something that happened at home, where it came to a place where I may have to move out. I was discussing this business idea with a friend at that time and also the situation at home, and just on one call, we came up with a business idea together to start a sustainable gifting solution.

Everything was happening fast, we would always have phone calls, I would wake up early to plan out, but somewhere deep deep inside there was this voice that was saying this will not work out. Hahaha! Anyway, after 2 weeks or so, I kind of realised I was not syncing well with this girl and calmly told her I will back out from this as I am not feeling comfortable. She didn’t take it well and she started on her own with the same idea as mine.

Right after that things got better at home, and then I started my business plan again.

Aaannnnd you may not believe who may be this other person who broke the promise.

Like I said earlier, the business was launched in April, covid situation, I was learning sewing and planning strategies for business, handle Instagram. It was getting a little too hectic and I told my tailor that I will take a break from learning and you continue with the sewing of orders, right after that, she stopped taking things seriously. As I was not going there every day, she would screw up whatever design I share, she would just randomly tell me that she can’t take orders and also started to increase the price from whatever we agreed on before. After weeks of thinking and overthinking, with no plans on what is going to happen next, messaging everyone who ordered with me telling me to cancel them, I took the decision to let her go-the only soul person of my business!

So in all of these situations-I am not blaming any of them, it is not about they are right or wrong, this is for me to understand what was in me, that attracted situations like this. In the sales guy’s case, I did not make clear boundaries with respect to payment and I did not even ask for any written document of proof that I was working for him.

In my friend’s case, I was not clearly communicating even though I felt that it might not work out in the beginning days.

In my tailor’s case, I was highly superficial myself at my work, and so was she. As the business was new and with broken records of handling finances in the past. Even though I was paying her fairly, whatever she asked, I was still not sure what fair pricing was as I was still operating a lot from a lack of mindset.

All 3 people, lead me to the biggest discoveries of my life. Starting the business, revealing my hidden strengths, learning to be independent and a lot lot lot more.

This is how I evolved you all, sorry-evolving. Always accepting the people and circumstances that happened for me, that helped me on my growth and not sit and suffer that God is treating me bad, an FYI-God will never do such things! hahahah

5. Taking Calculative Risks and Burning my Ego

Everybody who knows me personally knows that I always take risks. From quitting my corporate job and venturing into travelling, I did that all to escape from another reality and was too naive. I was not at all practical, especially when it came to Money. In my early days of working, I have not managed Credit cards very well so after I cleared those bills, I destroyed them and did not want to get them anymore.

Since I wanted to expand myself and invest in a coach last year, hiring a private coach is always on higher terms. My mindset was pretty strong by then and this time I knew I will be careful. As soon as I made that decision, I got a call from the bank to avail of this credit card, my credit score has always been good so I got a great deal and that’s the first biggest risk I took. I purchased a new sewing machine, I took a DIY coaching course by Jen Sincero.

I was still not feeling enough, I mean my soul craved for more growth. Now, I wanted to hire a private coach. To pay this coach, I had to ask for money from someone who I was most uncomfortable with; that’s where again the test was. I had to burn my Ego and ask for help! I did, I hired a coach and I became a coach.

(Apply here if you would like to work with me 1:1 to attract Abundance)

Once you set your mind to something, don’t worry about how things will fall in place. Just be ready to accept whatever comes in if I would have told Oh! I am trying to manifest money through my sales, why am I getting credit card calls and why has this person suddenly offered me money! Then the Universe will be like, well, she asked for help and now she is saying no!

Remember that old story, of a man drowning in floods, he asked God to save him by ignoring the help that came through car, boat and a helicopter and then he died and went up and asked God why didn’t he help me and god was like I did send you car, boat and a helicopter.

This story was reminded to me again, from this book that my coach referred to me called The law of divine compensation, a great read if you would like to.

For now, If you came this far, let me know if you learned anything at all from my lessons, as always I am active on Instagram. You can tag me or message me. If you would like to buy my products, click here, currently there is a 40 % discount going on.

I started by talking about Bob Proctor, I will end with the same in one of his videos, he had mentioned, “One year from now, you will need a telescope to check your progress”.

I surely need a Satellite. hahaha

Yours Consciously

Sneha
February 14, 2022
6 MONTHS OF WITHER!
Whether you think you can, or you can’t-you’re right!-Henry Ford
This morning when I looked at the calendar, I went like! Damn, it’s the 20^th! The 20^th of April is when I launched Wither and it’s been 6 months now!

Phew! The Ups and Downs, the Decisions, the lessons learnt, the wins, the losses; at this moment while I am typing now, I barely can even remember all the things that didn’t go well as I planned. Because everything else happened otherwise, worked out even better than what I had imagined.

I carry this pride always, that I am the first Entrepreneur in the family, and as a woman who is not married in a Conservative family, still sticking to my decision of starting a business even after multiple opinions that came in, this itself is the biggest achievement for me.

Although, I lived most of my life on my terms regardless of what family/society said; I was still very unsure about me running a business. I had zero qualities that an Entrepreneur needs-low self-esteem, Under Confident, Not sticking to goals, Name it I had it!

I have studied MBA in Marketing yet Sales petrify me! The idea to sell a product and ask for money for it was traumatizing.

I had to work on every single aspect that I was lacking, including Social Media. I did not know how to sell the products on Social Media.

Along with this, there were so many challenges that came in-I had to let go of the tailor who was working for me, I had to lose money due to some bad decisions with choosing the wrong people!

There was one thing that I told myself when I decided to start the business, no matter what happens, I am not giving up!

I stuck by it, Yes there were sleepless nights and I have cried for days! I had to push myself to move out of the couch, sign up for courses to help me get better at selling. Work on my skills to introduce new products, scream in the bathroom every day that “I am Confident”!

End of the Day, it was not about the business! It was about me, all the stories I had created in my head about myself, that I am not worthy of achieving anything in life had to be proven wrong.

It was never about others who bullied me, who made fun of my business, who humiliated me of my choices!

It was about me to stick to my decision and prove to myself that I am worthy of everything this Universe has to offer!

It did, I am in a much better place now. I am Happier every day, I am chirpier than I was ever in my life, I am improving on my confidence and my other sewing skills!

Most importantly, I am kind to myself.

I am a better person than I was yesterday!

Blooming…

Wild Flower
October 20, 2021
Wither

Decide what kind of life you actually want, then say NO to everything that isn’t that-BOB PROCTOR

Hello All, I am taking this opportunity to introduce my brand, Wither. Firstly, today we have completed 1 month on this glorious journey of creating clothes that we love. Secondly, celebrating these cards as I have my name on them as a “Creator” is a BIG deal for me.

I was raised in Bengaluru city in a conservative family, & currently live in the suburbs. I am in my 30’s, not married (you will know why I am mentioning this in a minute) My educational qualification is BCA, MBA because parents, cousins & their friends thought it had scope. Since I was a little kid, I knew I was an artist & was very clear to pursue my career in Art, Dance & Social Work. Again, these don’t have a scope so I had to study something that had scope. This landed me in a job in Supply Chain, I worked in 3 different corporate companies for 6.3 years.

I never liked any of these jobs, I was a robot waking up every morning, sitting in front of a computer, get back home, sleep, have fun during weekends. Repeat. I leapt, quit this job in the year 2016. Travelled, freelanced, worked in remote jobs, started a blog, wrote my heart out. But, in India, making money with freelancing isn’t easy. So I took up a fixed job in a remote place. 2018-2020 I worked in a school that educated Tribal children. My creativity started getting wings here. I worked with artists, I enjoyed reading books to children, I invested time in developing my skills with drawing, dancing, writing and reading too. When I was getting close to completing 2 years, I wanted to leave and travel for a bit so I quit in 2020.

Inevitable happened, Covid happened. I had to return home. Apart from being curious about knowing unknown places while travelling, I was staying away from family because, I was tired of explaining to the family that “getting married” is not the only thing a girl aspires to be, as per them only job a girl can do best is in the kitchen & by marrying someone. The goals, dreams, aspirations of a girl should all go in the drain, first of all, they should not even have them.

After I returned home, I looked up jobs that would fill my Artistic quench, I barely found any. 2 jobs came my way, both took work from me and never paid. Everything happens for the good they say.

On Feb 13th 2021, the second job that didn’t pay me bothered me a lot. I couldn’t sleep that night, I was watching videos of @zerowastedaniel over & over, who had inspired me a few years ago from a post I saw through the only friend in Fashion in know @madamtapoool. About 2 years ago, with a help of a colleague whose mother was a tailor, I had designed a skirt using old dupattas and left-overs his mother had from her work. We couldn’t take it forward back then, that kept ringing in my head to take it seriously this time.

That night, there was some force pushing me to start the same idea. The name “Wither” just came out of nowhere, I named it in Kannada too as “ಉದಿರು”. “If a piece of cloth is withering, doesn’t mean it’s waste, it can have a life too. The next day, I wrote this all down & I knew I had to push it to achieve it. I set a target to launch in April, & now here we are. The fun part was, I kept writing the name Wither on paper every day, one of the day’s I realized “Her” being part of the word.

It has not been an easy journey for me as a woman to follow “my way”, also not being married adds ghee to fire in a conservative family. It’s a fight every day, it still is. There is hardly any support from the close family members, as they still believe, being an entrepreneur is not for women. I have seen my friends struggle, I have seen married women struggle, while their husbands say what they have to do. This can go on, I will stop here to just say the intention behind the name “Wither” has a strong connection to raise women along with me.

My mother was a tailor, a passionate one. Neither do I have a professional fashion degree, but have a passionate one. She did go for professional classes but she never took it up as a business. I grew up seeing her stitch clothes to me and for herself, she made use of every single waste piece that was left out to create something else. She always indulged herself by creating masterpieces using wires, gunnysacks, woollen threads. And she had fun dressing me up all the time.

She had a very big influence on me with my style of dressing and my passion for clothes. Only if society, let her do her work passionately. She would have conquered the world. This also had an impact on me, on how being married will kill your dreams. No woman should stop themselves from achieving their dreams because of societal norms. That’s my goal to communicate through clothes.

The creator side

I am learning Bharatanatyam, I practice sketching sometimes, I love writing (now you know why my posts are long) and reading, I am a foodie & I love to cook. A nature lover can trade anything in life to live in a forest(future goals), I can watch birds, animals, sky, stars for hours without talking. I am keen to know what’s beyond our planet, the infinite space. I love constellations, and love watching movies and documentaries related to space. I love researching, that helps me learn something new every day from something old (Did you know series? This is why) I am a movie buff, lately I have been drawn towards documentaries. If not for Covid, I had big plans to work in the movie industry. The launch video was conceptualised & directed by me (a show-off) I have extreme levels of OCD, that I am taking advantage of to get my work to be perfect. As a person, I push myself to be a better person than I was yesterday. As a brand, I have the same principles to bring in the best quality.

The card says “Creator” and not “Founder” because I have found my passion, all I have to do is to “Create”.

Thank you all for supporting this journey so far, we have a long long long way to go.

Lastly, These are “Seed paper cards” made by @dopolgy. Thank you for making these cards & also for being a part of this journey.

Follow @_wither_wither_ on Instagram to see more of my creations.

Blooming…

Wild Flower

May 20, 2021
Favourite Chapter…

Live like a child every day, you will never regret that you did. – Sneha Marappa 😉

Smile 1

Every morning there are two times I come out of my room before I get to work:
1) To brush my teeth & stare at this specific tree in the front and a hill on my right.
2) To drink milk/coffee, that’s when the first school bus arrives.

The bus moves a little ahead closer to my room to take the U-turn, the children when they see me, few of them wave and few throw a smile and the other few scream, Snehaaaa akkkaaaa + wave.

This happens every day, every damn day; it’s like they are seeing me after many years, the excitement remains constant and every day is a brand new day. A few times which are unlucky days, the timing doesn’t match so this scene doesn’t happen but when it happens that’s the first smile that they bring on my face for the day-Smile 1.

Smile 2

Morning assembly happens at 9 am, everyone’s quiet-it’s a rare moment, like take out your camera and seize the moment kind of a rare moment-a Kodak moment. It is difficult to stay quiet for me too, our Director inclusive; one day she comes close to me and whispers, “Oh! A new saree. Oh yeah! She is that cool, not at all trying to flatter her-true story!

Sometimes I reach a little early, that’s when the Smile 2 begins. Akka, don’t tie your hair bun that way, I feel like laughing at you; Akka, you look like a Maid; Akka, Is it your birthday? (The most asked question, at least one child every day). Somehow all of this sounds better in Tamizh when they say it-Smile 2.

When Smile 1 + Smile 2 happens, the whole day lightens up, even if it is just one of them, I can live with it the whole day grinning, just like them.

Now look at a cobweb in that corner of your house, if there is none, imagine one. Flashback tone begins.

2 Years ago & so on!

Then!

On this day, I arrived here in my track pants and a Blue T-shirt; anxious, sweaty & exhausted. The train was delayed for 3 hours in Bengaluru, hence the exhaustion & lack of sleep. Carrying 4 bags and running behind a train that stops for 3 minutes with doors closed from inside, Sigh! That story deserves another blog post.

So where was I? The job, yes! The job was not much to do with children, maybe a little. Well, I had no idea, I just came here, did not think much, about my goals or aspirations, about my writings or blog. All I had on my mind was a simple life with less noise (Point to be noted), a life amidst mountains, & there you go, I got one.

I came here during summer holidays, hardly any (0) In-house teachers and absolutely no children. So there was no noise and there was life with mountains. Just like I desired, a breeze of applaud in my head goes on.

But I had a tiny fear, what happens when the school starts. How will I cope with the noise? I was perplexed, twitching my fingers every day when the noisy thoughts arrive. I was asked to take care of the library as well, who would not want to be around books. A library is a place for silence, nobody talks which mean part of my job will be in silence and I do not have to talk to people. Hurray!

Hold that grin on your face, right there! What I am going to say next might change that expression because the day arrived. The day that I was anxious about, the children, the people and the noise.

The first class in Library, I am sitting in a corner with a book and I see these kids gazing at me. I can feel those cute little eyes all over me. After a few minutes, the silence is broken with pulling & pushing, screaming & screeching, shouting & hitting. I take a deep breath, while I am breathing out, the noise hits the roof and is on the way to a space station. I would scream at them, on top of my voice, and now there is radio silence. And then the noise begins again. This continues, this exact format-all the time, in every class.

Days passed and so did months and years, I still shout at them sometimes and burst out laughing the next second. I am on their side now, we make noise, we draw, we sing and dance. I sit and hear their elephant stories, although most of the time they make up their own stories I feel, but they love it when I believe them and respond to what they say. They are good storytellers I must say, the tone, the pitch, the story crafting and most importantly they know how to trap the reader-they deserve an award.

Somewhere in that war between silence that I craved & noise that I disliked, Noise won!

I still have complications in dealing with people(adults), I am working on it but it is going to take time. So I am usually isolated, all by myself with myself but the loneliness does get on to me on a few days. These kids are the only source for me to drift away from that abyss, they are the only friends I can look up to, they are the only home that I can rest in.

Every day is unique here, all because of them, only because of them. I like it when they are concerned when I am not dressed, Akka are you not well? I like it when they ask about me while I am on leave, I like it that they exist, right there just for that moment.

Remember 2 years ago, I had this fear about coping with noise and now it was about how am I going to live ever without that noise after I leave this job. How often can I re telecast these memories in my head to keep that grin on my face? How am I going to live without elephant stories? Will they remember me if I come to visit them after a few years?

Nightmares, these were the nightmares that kept me away from sleep. Mostly after I decided to leave! But Life always has a different answer, not the one that you want. This time the answer came in the form of a Virus-Corona/COVID-19!

Today

Now!

All that silence I prayed for 2 years ago, I have been blessed with it now, unfortunately. It’s been 2 months since I have seen all those grinning faces; as much as the silence engulfed everywhere, their grinned faces and screechy voice is engulfed all over my head.

The home they built for me in themselves is all empty, filled with only taunting memories.

The home that I could not even bid goodbye to!

And now I am slowly drifting to the abyss again.

And now…
The swings are heavier.
Merry go round isn’t merrier.
Playground’s turned bizarre.
The library looks spookier.

Blooming…

Wild Flower

April 23, 2020
Dark Moon Shines

Hand in hand, on the edge of the sand, they danced by the light of the moon-Edward Lear

It was the day after my birthday, September 2^nd 2019; the bus was ripping through the mountains to reach Anaikatti. On this trail, for few kilometres phone network gets suspended. At this stretch, I rest my head on the window & count the number of mountains I see; sometimes with music on. Clouds were set for a shower, the silence of the mountains took over the noise of the bus’s engine. It started to drizzle, so I didn’t let music distract my solace with mountains. When the network resumed, I opened YouTube; the first song that appeared was “Nila Kaigirathu” by Sid Sriram; hesitantly I played the song. I got down from the bus, listened to the song as I walked to school. The chords of the song hit straight to the heart & ripped a smile on my face.

I heard it the second time, third time and about 1000^th time (No exaggeration). When I hear an unplugged version of a song that I have never heard before, I look for the original version. I searched for it, listened to it on loop and this time the chords hit straight to the heart & to my legs & to my hands & to my eyes. I listened to this song on repeat, all the time. I would sit & dance imagining choreography in my head. As my understanding of Tamizh, is minimal; I looked for the translation of the lyrics.

Not being able to be a dancer is the biggest void in my life, there are days I have spent looking at the mirror-posing as a dancer with drenched eyes. This song, ignited a spark to fill that void.

A week later, plans for Children’s Day was setting in. Prema Akka & Vaidehi Akka told me, they have been wanting to do a Dance-Drama for many years. The universe conspired I thought but I had my own self-doubts. I was not sure if I would be able to do justice to the song. I skipped this song, looked for other songs but I was hardly convinced.

As it was for Children’s Day I was looking for a song sung by a child artist and this song happened to be sung by Ms Harini when she was 15 years old. I shared this song with Prema Akka & Vaidehi Akka, they loved it. Every day I would listen to the song, for me to get engulfed in it. As there was a language barrier, I had to prepare myself a lot more than required. Word by word translation is what I needed, all thanks to the internet.

Once I understood the lyrics, the choreography was the next step. I am not a trained dancer, I have learnt Bharatnatyam from a few teachers but it was just to fulfil my void. I lacked the confidence to choreograph or even dance, I watched a few videos of dancers performing for this song; this inspired me. Whenever I had time, I would listen to the song and choreograph steps in my head; be it during lunch or even when I am conversing with someone. The song kept ringing in my head, non-stop!

10 days prior to Children’s Day, we started our practice. I have no dreams to be a performer, neither did I anticipate that I will be performing someday in front of my lovely children.

The first few steps and act was a bit challenging to communicate exactly how I had imagined. The first day was satisfactory but not as much as I expected it to be, I was still under-confident. The second day it all appeared like magic, dance flew through our nerves and showed up on our face.

This song will always remain as a song that let a dancer out of me, a performer out of me, a choreographer out of me, an artist out of me.

There it still rings in my head, “Atho pogindrathu aasai megam…” There it is where it grooves my heartbeats.

Blooming…

Wild Flower

January 5, 2020
Areca Nut Farms and their stories in Sirsi

Travelling: It leaves you speechless, then turns you into a storyteller-Ibn Battuta

Raindrops are dripping from the concaved mud tiled roof, sky touched palm trees sway along the wind, everyone’s working hard in the fields wearing a unique cap. This is a scene from a Kannada movie called “Nammoora Mandaara Hoove” and this is where I was introduced to Uttara Karnataka for the very first time when I was a kid. The scenes from the movie stamped on my memory and never faded, I had to visit these memories and experience them.

I stayed in a village called Hostota, 36 kilometers away from Sirsi Town at Vihar Home Stay. In a sedate ambiance where silence has its own meaning, paddy fields, and Areca Nut trees encircling the house; in my own solitude, I was embracing the feeling of the stills from the movie that was carved in my brain.

Niranjan Bhat who runs the homestay is an Ayurvedic doctor by profession but he was always passionate towards farming, he left his medical career to pursue his interest in farming. He says he is happier now working on the farm as this is what he grew up with and gives a sense of satisfaction to live the life with trees and birds. The homestay is an alternative income, once in a while I get to meet some interesting people but my priority is towards farming, he says.

He has a great collection of vintage coins and ancient manuscripts made out of palm leaves; he also sculpts Ganesha idol for Ganesha festival in his house, he says it’s a family tradition. His grandfather and father have done this, he is doing it and says his son will carry it forward too.

The food is served to guests exactly the way they eat at home on a banana leaf; the one in the picture here was my first breakfast-Dose, Kai (coconut) Chutney, Chutney Pudi with shengai yenne (peanut oil) and Joni Bella (Liquid Jaggery). Food served to guests here is all vegetarian (Havyaka food as they call it) and vegetables are grown in their organic garden by their house.

I was served chutney made with garlic leaves and cucumber skin, one of the most creative heads with food I have ever met. Nothing goes waste; everything is converted to a splendid dish.

All across Uttara Karnataka, Multi-Crop farming is followed. As the name says, more than one crop is grown in the same field. Areca Nut, Pepper, Cardamom, Cocoa are all grown in the same field; this saves water, land space and also more yield at one go. Although each crop has their own season of harvesting, they work best in terms of preserving resources.

We went for a walk in the twilight to their Areca Nut farm; it was the season for Areca Nut harvesting. The first step is to climb the tree with a rope tied around the waist to hang the Machete and also to pull the other tree to jump on it. Once he is done with one tree, he jumps to another tree. This is the riskiest job in the whole process and there is usually just one person who does this job in about 2-3 villages around. Once the Areca Nut is fallen to the ground, it will be picked up manually and taken for the next process.

After picking up, the orange and green ones are separated. Green ones are peeled as soon as they are plucked, orange ones are sun-dried and then peeled. The Areca nuts are peeled using a specific knife; the outer cover of the nut is removed.

The ladies come from a neighboring village and are paid daily wages along with tea and snacks. They were concerned about me traveling alone and asked me to bring my family the next time, as I took my phone out to take their photo they started to laugh. After a while got comfortable and suggested few places for me to visit around Sirsi.

Peeled Areca Nuts are immediately added to boiling water and is boiled approximately for about 45 minutes. All these steps are completed within 24 hours once the initial process of peeling starts. If there is too much gap after peeling, the quality of the final product goes low. Areca Nuts gets softer once boiled and should be constantly watched and removed at the right time, if not removed at the right time, this can harm the quality too. Once removed, they are dried and sold to market.

The peeled skin of the Areca Nuts are used for mulching around the trees, this helps the soil to hold the moisture and also helps the roots during heavy rains. If not as mulch, they are mixed with cow dung and used as gobar. Yet again, nothing goes waste here!

Niranjan Bhat stirs the boiling pot to make sure the Areca Nuts are boiled at the right temperature and shares the tension about labor not being available off late as they are more attracted towards moving to the city. This has been the same in every village I have visited so far, it continues here too in Sirsi. He tells, how difficult it is to get them to work and how prompt they are with their timings, who would not want to stretch even for a minute if there is some extra work. He mentioned, I guess in few years we will need robots or it’s impossible to carry on with farming.

Most of the houses here have a story weaved in them; Niranjan Bhat’s ancestral house is one of them too. A 200 years old house, it takes 2 people to push the door wide open. The light passes through with high beam and spreads across the house; the strong pillars are holding the roof tighter creating an eternal love story. They moved out from this house as it was difficult to maintain, he took me around the house sharing his childhood memories. I was spellbound looking at the vastness the house offered, the light and fragrance of the wood etch a desire to build a house that shares stories like these.

I lived my childhood dream of visiting Uttara Karnataka in Hostota. I re-lived my dream.

February 6, 2018
Experiencing the richness of life in Meemure

My richness is life, forever – Bob Marley

A road that has seen more animals than vehicles, the fragrance of freshly brewed tea brushes my face, a river gushing deep in the woods is so clear like its right next to me, drizzles play hide & seek with sun rays, butterflies are hovering around, there is a creaky noise and the vehicle stops. It was not a dream, I was in a place where dreams got its life, I was in a place where breeze got its wings, and I was in a place where drizzles got its rhythm. I take a deep breath, open my eyes & ears wide open; the driver says, it’s a tea break. I stepped out smelling petrichor and turned to a beautiful view surrounded by wildflowers, I ordered a Tea or Te as they call it and Vade.

Everyone in the van was excited to know I am from India, I spoke to them in Tamil so the kids assumed that I am good friends with Tamil Cinema (Kolywood) actors. They started to pass on their message which they requested me to share with their heroes. They shared their favorite movies, had a little fight amongst themselves supporting their own hero, invited me to their homes, insisted that I should never forget them and made sure that I will pass on their message to their heroes.

Also, read People of Sri Lanka

Sri Lanka and India are very closely knit as we connect in the stories of Ramayana, when I was at Rumasalla I was told Sita was kept here after Ravana kidnapped her. In the van I met a teacher who showed me the cone-shaped mountain called Lakegala, telling that Ravana designed his airplane on that mountain and flew from there many times to India and one of the times was to kidnap Sita. It is said that he chose that mountain due to its shape which was easier for the plane to take off.

Also, read Sacred Hill in Ramayana

It was 5 in the evening when I entered my host’s house where I was welcomed with pepper creepers and areca nut; I sat in the verandah watching a leech slowly moving and there comes the man in his tuk-tuk. A long grey beard, thick mustache that he maneuvered as he approached me; we greeted with Namaste, he said let’s go for a walk in the village. I was exhausted and asked if we can go tomorrow, he said why tomorrow, let’s go now. I grinned and we started walking on the thick concrete road along the roof tiled evenly built houses, I was introduced to everyone whom we met on the way as India, and they asked if I have come alone. He says yes, he smiles, I smile, they smile and we move on.

This tree is 400 years old, as old as the village he said; also considered as a sacred tree of the village. The villagers gather here for a chit-chat or for any discussions related to the village. Thinking of the number of stories and gossips this tree must have stored in his trunk, I sat under its shade listening to the eerie air that passed by each leaf of paddy. I asked him how many families live here and he said about 120 families with around 600 people. With the rich paddy fields everywhere, it was very evident that paddy is their major source of income but they also have additional crops like beans and pepper. They also generate income from Kitul Honey, honey extracted from a palm tree called Kitul and from Jaggery; some of them generate income through tuk-tuk as well. For the past few years, this village has fallen in the eyes of travelers which are turning out to be a good source of income too.

Mr. Navaratna, 52 years young man, my host proudly says he is the only man who can speak English in the village, in the year 2000 he started to host travelers in his house. His house is a mini-museum with some unique wooden handicrafts and the traditional tools used for farming and cooking; all displayed in his verandah. The food, my favorite episode of this life where I get alive again came to me on the dining table; this was the best Sri Lankan food my taste buds have relished. The spices were glowing in the food; the result of organic farming showed up in every bite I savored.

After our dinner, few boys from the village joined us who shared some of their adventurous stories around the village. They were talking about the hikes and group of people who come to hike on Lakegala, there are also many trails they have discovered through Meemure that connects to another side of Lakegala which lasts for few days. Just a thought of it gets me Goosebumps; that’s how dense and beautiful the forest is. I dropped off my excitement to do this the next time and started to savor the freshly brewed coconut arrack.

A new day begun, I came out of my room to see him sharpening his machete, why do we need this, I asked. We are entering a forest, this is for our safety. I took a gulp of my saliva, rubbed my palms with fear and followed him into the forest. Do you have such forest in India? I said yeah, we do have such forests. Do you have anything like Meemure? Ah, well India is too big and yes we do have such beautiful and remote villages in India too I said. We laughed, it echoed and then a perfect silence. Echoes continued for a while and he stopped to pick up some plastic covers, look how tourism is slowly spoiling the nature. I always tell my travelers not to litter anywhere but there are few locals who come to spoil the place, whined for a while and moved with our echoes again.

We stopped by a waterfall, he says let’s rest here for a bit; I lie down on the rock staring at the sky, thanking the universe for letting me see this wonderful gift given by nature itself. Ah, then there comes my friends’ leeches to play around on my feet, I panicked for a bit initially and then started to ignore and initiated conversations with the trees.

After a while, we stopped at another waterfall, I will have to say; it was straight out of a magical land. I felt like I was in one of those fairytale books where I could smell the fragrance of flowers, butterflies all around me fluttering around, water ripples formed by the waterfall was so inviting to take a dip. I turned around and saw Navaratna Aiyya in a deep sleep; I was in my sleep too with my eyes open. He woke up and says; it’s so peaceful here; I always fall asleep as soon as I reach this place. He also told me that this fall was named after him as he discovered it, but there were few other people who claimed that’s not true. What’s there in a name? I chose to just leave it as is and call it as my “Fairytale dream”.

Our excited Navaratna Aiyya took me to another waterfall where he made me slide and jump, although I am water phobic; he insisted that I get rid of my fears and I did. As we walked back, I saw one of the most amazing sunsets behind the Lakegala Mountain. The colors the sun had left been reflecting on the paddy fields like a mirror, the houses were lit up and I saw farmers still working in the field. We also met a blind man who was working on the road, I was so inspired by his dedication; no one in this village sits idle. If they are idle, that’s only to have a laugh together over a drink.

I was told earlier about zero network coverage in Meemure, except for few landlines in the house. They have electricity that is generated by hydroelectric power only in the night funded by United Nations. There is only one van that operates once a day to and fro from the nearby town called Hunnasgiriya, it’s a 15+1 seater van and about 50 people manage to sit, stand, sit on others lap, hang on the door! Oh, it’s not just people, even their crops are sent by only this van to the town market! Police have never stepped in the village; if there are any problems they solve by themselves. There is one post office that operates from this village and one school that teaches until 5^th grade, they need to go to the nearby village to study till 10^th and then to town to continue further.

I had to pinch myself many times to know if this is a reality; it is hard to believe that a life like this exists. I was wrapped in a magical and imaginary world; there is life in every grain of mud to dew on the leaf. It’s not a village. It’s a LIFE.

Blooming…

Wild Flower

November 24, 2017
A day on a Mysterious Village – Mandaram Nuwara

A mystery is solved with a story-Daniel Handler

Rough roads are always memorable, be it the ride or the destination; they are beautiful. Mandaram Nuwara is one such place that took tremendous efforts to be reached, efforts in the form of research and also to find the commute. A friend mentioned about this village, he said its called a Misty City as it is always covered by Mist. I would like to call it as a Mysterious Village-here is why. I started my research and was mesmerized with the pictures of this Mysterious village, but there were hardly any details on how to reach there. I figured out its closer to Kandy, so decided to reach Kandy first & then flow towards this eye candy. I asked few locals, there was no soul aware of this village. The more it was hard to find out, the more I wanted to go. Finally with some help, I found a blog post that had few details of locals who had visited this village couple of years ago. I couldn’t find any details about the commute so I shut my laptop to hit the road. Perhaps, there are answers on the road!

A traveler friend joined along, we began our hunt towards this mysterious village. We went to Kandy bus stand and figured out the direct bus will leave only in the noon. We did not have much time so decided to go to a nearby town to the village called Padiyapelalla, conductor in the bus was trying to build a conversation, I told him we need to go to Mandaram Nuwara, asking him if there is a bus from Padiyapelalla. He said this bus goes to Mandaram Nuwara, I was literally on Cloud 9; never imagined that road can fulfill your wish so easily. Apparently that was the last bus leaving to Mandaram Nuwara from Padiyapelalla.

The houses were placed like cubes amidst the paddy fields, we were closer to Mandaram Nuwara. This was the first sight we had when we entered the village, the house in the corner was the perfect eye candy. Every house here opens up to a view like this. We were welcomed with loud music, huge speakers were placed on the road, people chilling & playing carom, old men having a chat by the verandah, kids had just finished their school, women shared a startled look at us with a graceful smile. Smile-seems like a common jewelry worn by everyone in this village.

We started to walk around the village listening to Sinhalese music, every few steps we take; we stop to see the view staring at the never ending horizon with a huge floor of paddy fields. I kept thinking how lucky these people are to wake up to such a blissful view. The mountains surrounding the village is called Pidurutalagala (Mount Pedro) which is also the tallest mountain in Sri Lanka. We kept walking and stopped over a house for water, a girl came out & asked where was I from, I said India. She immediately said, “Kohli batting, very good; I like it”. I laughed and said yes, he is good!

The Kohli Girl 😉

By the stream in the village 🙂

The kids were all around us, we had a small “body language chat” with them. Like every journey should have an end, this short journey came closer to an end as well. The bus driver & conductor was waiting for almost an hour for us to return to drop us to the town as there were no bus leaving that evening. Both the driver & conductor took us in their Tuk Tuk and showed us a beautiful waterfall, a secret water fall they said! They later dropped us to a nearby town and made sure we got into the right bus to reach Kandy!

Somewhere on the road!

So, the rough roads journey turned out to be one of the most beautiful & memorable events in my life!

Blooming…

Wild Flower

September 12, 2017
Until Next Time!

Some stories begin when you leave them behind!-Sneha Marappa

THE END

1326+1 days ago a restless bird came here looking for a place to live, she came with a fear if she will ever find a home, and little that she knew this place would be more than her home. Everything here looked so dear; she assumed this was the home she has been looking for all these years. She developed a comfort zone with all the birds she met around, she painted her feathers to look bright & colorful, she was all smiles, and she walked around miles with glory.

She was passing by a mirror looking how colorful she was & dancing with joy. That day it rained, she was just in her own world, romancing with the raindrops. She looked at the mirror, color on her feathers were all oozing out with the water. Feathers were shedding & her wings had gone weak, she was losing herself, she had forgotten she was meant to fly.

She developed another fear yet again that this was not her home too, she was too afraid to leave the comfort zone, but the comfort zone by then had started growing thorns. With her feathers shedding, her body was spraying out the blood with the thorns pricking. She spent months, wrapped herself in the corner with a fear to fly, she knew if she wouldn’t fly she would just fall. She decided to step out to feed her feathers and start flying and she is now stepping out to fly into her world.

She will make sure she will smile at you whenever she spots you around this small world.

Thanks to all who were with her in the comfort zone, thanks to all who helped painting her feathers, thanks to all who were “still” with her in the comfort zone, thanks to all who made her realize wings are meant to fly, thanks to all for being with her in reality & virtually, finally thank you RAIN for making her realize who she is!

Disclaimer: Characters in this email do not hold any resemblance to the people alive or drunk!

THE BEGINNING

Blooming…

Wild Flower

February 28, 2016