Yours Consciously Sneha

Tag: goals

  • Wither

    Wither

    Decide what kind of life you actually want, then say NO to everything that isn’t that-BOB PROCTOR

    Hello All, I am taking this opportunity to introduce my brand, Wither. Firstly, today we have completed 1 month on this glorious journey of creating clothes that we love. Secondly, celebrating these cards as I have my name on them as a “Creator” is a BIG deal for me.

    I was raised in Bengaluru city in a conservative family, & currently live in the suburbs. I am in my 30’s, not married (you will know why I am mentioning this in a minute) My educational qualification is BCA, MBA because parents, cousins & their friends thought it had scope. Since I was a little kid, I knew I was an artist & was very clear to pursue my career in Art, Dance & Social Work. Again, these don’t have a scope so I had to study something that had scope. This landed me in a job in Supply Chain, I worked in 3 different corporate companies for 6.3 years.

    I never liked any of these jobs, I was a robot waking up every morning, sitting in front of a computer, get back home, sleep, have fun during weekends. Repeat. I leapt, quit this job in the year 2016. Travelled, freelanced, worked in remote jobs, started a blog, wrote my heart out. But, in India, making money with freelancing isn’t easy. So I took up a fixed job in a remote place. 2018-2020 I worked in a school that educated Tribal children. My creativity started getting wings here. I worked with artists, I enjoyed reading books to children, I invested time in developing my skills with drawing, dancing, writing and reading too. When I was getting close to completing 2 years, I wanted to leave and travel for a bit so I quit in 2020.

    Inevitable happened, Covid happened. I had to return home. Apart from being curious about knowing unknown places while travelling, I was staying away from family because, I was tired of explaining to the family that “getting married” is not the only thing a girl aspires to be, as per them only job a girl can do best is in the kitchen & by marrying someone. The goals, dreams, aspirations of a girl should all go in the drain, first of all, they should not even have them.

    After I returned home, I looked up jobs that would fill my Artistic quench, I barely found any. 2 jobs came my way, both took work from me and never paid. Everything happens for the good they say.

    On Feb 13th 2021, the second job that didn’t pay me bothered me a lot. I couldn’t sleep that night, I was watching videos of @zerowastedaniel over & over, who had inspired me a few years ago from a post I saw through the only friend in Fashion in know @madamtapoool. About 2 years ago, with a help of a colleague whose mother was a tailor, I had designed a skirt using old dupattas and left-overs his mother had from her work. We couldn’t take it forward back then, that kept ringing in my head to take it seriously this time.

    That night, there was some force pushing me to start the same idea. The name “Wither” just came out of nowhere, I named it in Kannada too as “ಉದಿರು”. “If a piece of cloth is withering, doesn’t mean it’s waste, it can have a life too. The next day, I wrote this all down & I knew I had to push it to achieve it. I set a target to launch in April, & now here we are. The fun part was, I kept writing the name Wither on paper every day, one of the day’s I realized “Her” being part of the word.

    It has not been an easy journey for me as a woman to follow “my way”, also not being married adds ghee to fire in a conservative family. It’s a fight every day, it still is. There is hardly any support from the close family members, as they still believe, being an entrepreneur is not for women. I have seen my friends struggle, I have seen married women struggle, while their husbands say what they have to do. This can go on, I will stop here to just say the intention behind the name “Wither” has a strong connection to raise women along with me.

    My mother was a tailor, a passionate one. Neither do I have a professional fashion degree, but have a passionate one. She did go for professional classes but she never took it up as a business. I grew up seeing her stitch clothes to me and for herself, she made use of every single waste piece that was left out to create something else. She always indulged herself by creating masterpieces using wires, gunnysacks, woollen threads. And she had fun dressing me up all the time.

    She had a very big influence on me with my style of dressing and my passion for clothes. Only if society, let her do her work passionately. She would have conquered the world. This also had an impact on me, on how being married will kill your dreams. No woman should stop themselves from achieving their dreams because of societal norms. That’s my goal to communicate through clothes.

    The creator side

    I am learning Bharatanatyam, I practice sketching sometimes, I love writing (now you know why my posts are long) and reading, I am a foodie & I love to cook. A nature lover can trade anything in life to live in a forest(future goals), I can watch birds, animals, sky, stars for hours without talking. I am keen to know what’s beyond our planet, the infinite space. I love constellations, and love watching movies and documentaries related to space. I love researching, that helps me learn something new every day from something old (Did you know series? This is why) I am a movie buff, lately I have been drawn towards documentaries. If not for Covid, I had big plans to work in the movie industry. The launch video was conceptualised & directed by me (a show-off) I have extreme levels of OCD, that I am taking advantage of to get my work to be perfect. As a person, I push myself to be a better person than I was yesterday. As a brand, I have the same principles to bring in the best quality.

    The card says “Creator” and not “Founder” because I have found my passion, all I have to do is to “Create”.

    Thank you all for supporting this journey so far, we have a long long long way to go.

    Lastly, These are “Seed paper cards” made by @dopolgy. Thank you for making these cards & also for being a part of this journey. 

    Follow @_wither_wither_ on Instagram to see more of my creations.

    Blooming…

    Wild Flower

  • Silence in the air.

    Silence in the air.

    And silence, like darkness, can be kind; it, too, is a language-Hanif Kureishi

    1
    Soaking in the sunset, Kozhikode beach.

    In my earlier post, that’s last year; I spoke about all the mistakes I made after I quit my job. I said I am much clearer about the goals and have plans to achieve them. Yes, the goals did get clear, the process to reach the goals changed. This change put me into a silent world, where words are neither spoken nor written. This change kept me away from everything that I was intending to do after I quit my job.

    The constant need to update about life, life dependent on numbers on how many followers, numerous bloggers all across social media, millions of blog posts with tips and corners to cover the place. There came a point where my existence didn’t find any need at all. Everybody was writing their own story about the same painting on a different canvas. I could not! 

    Lack of Consistency

    With repeated events in life that pulled me down, I was already lagging behind on the blog posts. From once a week, once a month, once in 2 months, once in 6 months & once a year. This was the pace at which I was publishing a blog post. I was hardly sharing posts on my social media accounts too. The consistency was lost, Big time!

    Followers’ game

    I maintained a diary on how to boost my blog; there are thousands of tips on the internet. I jotted them and tried them. None of it was satisfactory, for example commenting on an account with a high number of followers to get recognition. It was so not me, to just randomly comment on some account just so that I get visibility. I did do a couple of times but my conscious didn’t feel right about it. Many such processes kept bothering me a lot on if I really did make the right choice of taking up blogging.

    Personal note

    I did not start writing to make money; I started writing because I felt like writing. Writing has always been personal, it will remain personal. I cannot write if I have not had any experience, this may be the reason why I could not really find freelance writing opportunities. Even if I did find, it did not last long. Very recently one of the editors I was freelancing with mentioned that “your writing on your blog is very different than what you write for us”. After which, I did not receive any offer from her; this is when I realized why I have not been able to find any freelance writing opportunities.

    Job

    I was not up for a followers game, I was not a good fit to do the freelance job so I was pretty much not fit for anything- a sense of Self-loathing. But I was very sure of not getting back to my corporate job, I was also sure of finding a way to keep my goals intact.

    The goals remain the same, I changed the process of achieving it. I started to look for a job in a location where I  would fit, somewhere in mountains probably and I found one. A job that allows me to be in mountains and that allows me to travel once in a while. A job that lets my creativity unleash its wings. A job that keeps my sanity sane.

    It was not an intentional break from blogging; I had no calling towards it anymore, hence the silence. Number of readers, number of followers, number of posts; Huf! These numbers don’t matter anymore.

    It is only the words that matter and always will. I decided then that, I will write when the words need me.

    2
    Sunset by the mountains.

    Why am I talking about all of this now?
    There are some of you who have emailed me and some of you who have always stood by me and still have. For all of you, I owe an answer to my silence. Hence!

    Blooming…

    Wild Flower

  • Mistakes I learned from after quitting my job!

    Mistakes I learned from after quitting my job!

    We don’t make mistakes, Just happy little accidents-Bob Ross

    26th February 2016, the day is stamped in my memories for all the good reasons. I was leaving behind the biggest baggage of my life-my corporate job. I was taking my last breath in the AC filled rooms to venturing my breath in the fresh air. End of one life to the beginning of the new one. Fixed salary every month, friends and memories-all of it I had to leave behind. There was no other choice, the decision was made for my better life and I had to move forward even if the emotional baggage on my back was much heavier.

    1

    Time ticked, 26th February finished its routine. Now, what next? No swiping ID card to enter the office, No manager to report to, no more AC chillness, no more drama with colleagues, no more free coffee, no more fixed salary. All I have now is my “freedom”; mine alone, the freedom that I own.

    September 2015 I spent a week in Sri Lanka for my birthday, once I returned I couldn’t work in a closed space anymore. I was confused if I can hold my corporate job and travel using my leaves and long weekends like I did the whole of 2015. It was not enough, every time I had to come back to work that I don’t like; I had this feeling to rip myself out & scream that I am not meant to be here.

    Also read: Confession from a Confused Mind.

    2

    I had an EMI of my phone to clear so I forced myself to work for few months, save some money and then leave the job. Meanwhile, I started my research on travel blogging, volunteering, freelancing and other jobs I could do while traveling. Everything looked promising; I decided to take the plunge and resigned after 4 months.

    After I left the job I had my savings to survive for the next few months, as there is money in the bank account I was not very serious about looking out for opportunities. This was the first mistake I made and everything else followed along with this.

    Plans

    I did not have any prior experience of writing, blogging and neither did I have any contacts in any media to publish my articles. My rough plan was to travel the next few months with my savings, and then I would receive my Provident Fund (PF) amount which I can use as a base and freelance. Most of the times, few things don’t work like we would want it to work. My PF amount didn’t hit at the right time but I got a job in an Organic Farm/Guest House, this was just when I was almost out of my savings.

    3

    This job gave me a feasible income, not less and not more. Just as much as I needed, the job was hectic and I couldn’t concentrate on writing so I could not look for any freelance jobs either. I left the job after 2 months, traveled again for a while and then was almost out of money. Searching for freelance jobs is one of the biggest tasks, it was too difficult and always demotivated me. As I knew I was going to receive my PF amount sometime soon, I have to accept that I almost lost hopes to look out for freelance jobs.

    I never believed in plans, plans don’t work I would say. Well, it does work sometimes, especially when a major decision of leaving a job is taken; there should be a good plan to sustain. I indeed did my research before leaving the job but it was not enough, a stronger plan with a good foundation was needed. I was trying to build a palace even without buying a land.

    Goals

    4

    Making a big name in blogging, being an author could have been my ideal goals. I did not have any, at that moment when I had to leave the job; I was only looking for opportunities where I can survive while traveling. There are many roads and I tried stepping on every road without reaching any destination, of course, the journey taught me great lessons but the destination is amazingly beautiful too. I pretty much blindfolded myself to look at one goal, I was trying to shoot the bullet without aiming.

    Money

    So far the biggest mistake is to take things very lightly with money, after the job in the Organic Farm/Guest House, I was almost broke the next 2 months, that’s when my long wait for PF came through. I was on cloud 9, I made smaller plans to use this money as a base and do freelance jobs while I savor on this vagrant lifestyle.

    5

    As the opportunities for freelancing were very less and every time I think of it I would be upset, I met someone who gave an idea to start the café. I invested all my money to start the café; the very first day when the work had to begin I was betrayed. Not to dwell more on this, the cafe didn’t work out and I lost all my money.

    6

    I did not plan better, was not clear with my goals and I took money as a very simple commodity. But let the truth be spoken, money is needed! No matter what, even if I want to escape into a forest I need money to eat food, stay healthy to walk and stay focused.

    These are the mistakes I do not really feel good about, instead of “I should have done this or that”; I would like to learn from these mistakes. I am now clear on goals and have better plans to achieve them, like Albert Einstein said-A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new.

    Blooming…

    Wild Flower
    (more…)